Big Brother
It's On!

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
It's On!

Julie finally pops in to chat with the cast. Everyone is tense and jittery, because of the live vote. Hardly says some boring and diplomatic crapola. Hardly never gives any good dirt; it's very boring. Finally, Julie instructs Krusta and It'sOnica to give a final speech to their housemates, and reminds them that because no one has voted yet, they could manage to change some minds. Unfortunately, they say nothing of interest, other than thanking the Lord and their agents. Actually, Krusta makes an unusually focused and almost graceful speech. It'sOnica does not. Are you surprised?

In the Big Blue Chair of Lindsey is Really Pissed Now, Hardly says he would have killed for Krusta. He then sobs, dryly, so as to preserve his eye makeup.

Next, filler about Nicole. Yes. We know. We have seen the show. Everyone hated her. Then they liked her. Now they fear her. The puppetmaster music sings cheerfully in the background. Nicole is my evil manipulative girlfriend. I want her and Will to take me on as an apprentice and teach me their evil, manipulative ways. Which I will use for good, not for evil. Well, mostly.

Time for the HoH interview. I hate these. They're consistently boring. Isn't there some way to make the ritual diplomatic spin more interesting, like maybe they could talk to Julie from a ring of fire, or something? I don't know. Anyway, the interview goes as usual: nominations hard/strategy important/revenge imminent/interview boring.

Big Blue Chair of I Knew He Had A Heart. Will says he might have to listen to his conscience "for the first time ever" and give Krusta a sympathy vote.

God, voting, at last.

Bunky goes first. He sobs like he's sending Krusta to the gas chamber. It's really skirting the edge of embarrassing. Poor baby. I think Bunky's emotion is genuine, but I doubt he's like this all the time. I suspect the stress of being in the house has turned him into a ball of unrestrained, raw emotion. Anyway, Julie races through the chit-chat -- in which Bunky says he's Hardly and Nicole's "puppet" -- and swiftly dismisses Krusta, with a "get a hold of yourself, man" expression. Seriously, I think Bunky is a doll. He's obviously very sensitive. But he knew this moment was coming. Frankly, if it were me, and I knew I was going to be all emotional, I'd just stalk into the Diary Room, sit down, cast my vote, tell Julie I couldn't talk, and race out before I broke down on live television. What would they do, fire me?

Hardly's turn. Hardly also votes to evict Krusta. He's not really happy about his vote, either, he says, but he has to.....yawn. I'm sorry, I changed channels. Hardly's boring now. Something about how he's playing for himself? Because I didn't catch that the first eight billion times he mentioned it.

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Big Brother




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