Big Brother
It's On!

Episode Report Card
Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
It's On!

Will Time! He plops down in the Big Blue Chair and asks Julie for advice. She twitters flirtatiously. Thank God he's not crying; I couldn't take any more of that. But he does seem a little sad. Will votes to evict Krusta, because, he says, he can't go against Nicole. "I'm too weak," he admits.

At last, Julie reads the vote. Krusta hugs a sobbing Bunky, promising to call Greg for him, and shakes Hardly's and Nicole's hands. "Good game, Nicole. See you at the end," she says. I can't see Nicole's expression, but I doubt she's quaking in her boots. Krusta takes Will and It'sOnica to the door, where Will admits that he was weak, and really does seem sorry to have voted her out. Mid-admission, It'sOnica breaks down and starts babbling. Krusta cuts her off, and continues to tell Will how weak it was for him to sell her out to "them" when he promised Mike to look after her. Will looks sad. Krusta hugs him. She forgives his weak-willed ass.

Finally, Krusta calmly turns to the sobbing It'sOnica. "Goddamn them!" It'sOnica says, and then unleashes a long speech, much of which is bleeped out by the censors, the rest of which makes no sense. It's like "bleep bleep bleep, they wanna dog me out, bleep bleep bleep chili, bleep ribonucleic acid." Krusta is like, dude, chill. "Bleep, bleep, time is a universal invariant, bleep, bleep!" Krusta's all, seriously, shut up. "Bleep, Krusta! Bleep it's on! Bleep the infield fly rule bleep! Bleep cheese bleep flip flops bleep bleep coffee cup bleep the Warsaw Pact bleep!" Then It'sOnica sobs about their friendship. Krusta gets a little misty over this bit about the beauty of their relationship, and tells It'sOnica to "take Bunky" with her to the top. "They sold their soul to the devil!" It'sOnica announces, then runs off, sobbing, to the porch. Krusta sort of shakes her head and opens the door.

While Krusta's getting set up with Julie, Bunky sobs in the bathroom. Will and Hardy sit on the sofa and talk about how shitty they feel. Will moans about how weak he is, and that Krusta is better than the shit that's going down in the house. I knew he had feelings! I knew it! I told you the sociopath, robotic-man thing was just an act! Hardly says it's like they're in jail. Nicole says nothing. They all just sit around and look glum. Outside, Monica smokes and plots her revenge.

Next, Julie breaks for commercial by promising us a "surprise." Cut to a shot of Mike Boogie in the green room with a cheap-looking bouquet. I scream in agony and horror.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13Next

Big Brother




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP