After the break, Eric and Amber sojourn to the yard where he tries to weasel out an explanation of this girl, Cheryl, who's he totally cares about and has feelings for, except how they're only on-again, off-again dating. I'm riveted, Eyebrows, let me tell you. He whinily tells Amber -- and then us via DR -- that he very much wants Jessica to know that he's being totally honest with her and "everything I've done in this house towards her has been true and genuine and with her best interests at heart." Except for that time he didn't talk to her for a day. And the part about him receiving secret instructions from the dipshit viewers about everything he says, does, or thinks in the house, up to and including that effing woobie. So then he tells his tale to Jess in the HOH room, and it's the most mush-mouthed explanation ever, about this "weird sort of lingering situation" with this girl who is not his girlfriend, even though she is, even though she's not, even though she might be but he doesn't want to say it out loud lest she materialize in the bathroom mirror or whatever the hell. Jess's response, via the DR? Ain't none of her business if Eric wants to cheat on this chick. In other words, if she sees Eric's tongue coming at her and fails to get out of the way, it's his own fault. There's a metaphor for their alliance in there somewhere. Also of note: this is all Jen's fault. Still. Seriously: "I was really disappointed to find out that Eric might have a girlfriend. Jen's such a bitch!"

The Ballad Of Dick And Daniele. Same shit as before: it's hard out here for an emotionally estranged daughter and her violently abusive dad. Dick keeps on telling her, at random and repeated intervals, to take her vitamins, because he saw on a TV commercial one time that that's what real parents do. Daniele bitches to Zach, who commiserates and acknowledges that her dad is, indeed, a royal fuckwad. My personal theory, and you're free to test it out as you see fit, is that Zach just might hate Dick more than anyone else in the house does. He's not overt about it at all, but it's there in every DR he has about Dick, every private conversation with Daniele, even his interactions with Dick himself; just this quiet, but very real, and very deep loathing of the man. I will freely admit that I will happily resort to reading wild and random subtext into this show in order to keep it interesting for these last few weeks, but this one I think is genuine.