Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now!
Put a Cork In It

Steven and Keesha talk about their love for their animals, and Steven starts freaking her out by talking about what it would be like to come home to a dog that has forgotten you or died. I think Steven might actually turn out to be a pretty decent stealth player in this cast.

Jessie comes into the living room sporting a beret, a big fake mustache, and the worst French accent ever to announce the food competition. They're going to be splitting up into teams: the "chardonnay-nays" and the "pinot no-wah-wahs." He throws out a stack of green berets and a stack of red ones for everyone to grab, and ends up on the green team himself. The teams don't seem to be split up by alliances, and in fact April and Libra are kind of grumpy about having the oldsters Renny and Jerry on their team. Keesha DRs about how Libra and April need to quit bitching about their teammates, which actually carries some weight because Keesha's on that team too. Everyone changes into color-coded shorts (and jogging bras, where appropriate, except for Jessie) and goes out to the backyard to listen to Jessie explain the rules for the competition. It involves trying to plug holes in your team's wine cask while the opposing team tries to fill their bottle with wine leaking from said cask, and is needlessly complicated. I came to this conclusion even without trying to decipher the rules through Jessie's atrocious French accent.

The competition begins, and after several minutes of people running around, throwing corks, and trying to fill wine bottles, it becomes clear that green has a strategy, whereas red does not. April in particular sucks, but Renny is a standout for red, because she knows how to handle wine. In the end, green wipes the floor with red. April and Libra in particular are pissed off at having lost, and Steven and Keesha enjoy watching the two of them snipe at each other in the ugly aftermath.

Dan asks Jessie if he can visit the HoH bathroom, as a pretext for talking to Jessie alone before the nominations. Dan goes up and watches on the monitor, waiting impatiently for Jessie to come up. But when Jessie finally does, he brings Ollie with him, sending Dan scampering into the head. By the time Dan comes out, Jessie has forgotten even letting Dan go in there, and comments about how long it took him. "Mission failed," Dan DRs, blaming Ollie for screwing up his game again. Plus now everyone in the house thinks he has nervous bowels.

Down in the kitchen, April and Libra are talking to Memphis and trying to figure out what makes him tick. More specifically, why he's so unemotional. I'd say the higher priority is talking Memphis out of growing that riverboat-gambler mustache he's sprouting, and I don't even have to look at it 24-7. Memphis reveals a few stories from his past, specifically the loss of his dad and a bad breakup. He goes on to talk about how he's not an emotional person in general, way longer than any truly unemotional person would ever allow himself to do.

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Big Brother




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