Big Brother
Josh's Luck Runs Out

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
Spare the Rod, Foil the Child

And now it's time for the inspiring story of Gerry's Adventures in Physical Fitness. He explains that he's taking the opportunity in the house to get in shape. He does the glider, he lifts weights, and he even does Danielle's Ab Class of Torture and Death. Jason comments that it's clear to everyone that Gerry's clothes are looser, face looks thinner, et cetera. And darned if it isn't true. And then, in my favorite moment by far, Gerry looks over at Marcellas while they are lying in chairs by the pool and says, "Marcellas, my pants are getting baggy!" He does it in this high-pitched squeaky-girl voice, and it's completely adorable, because he totally deserves every smidge of pleasure he's taking in it. In the bathroom, though, he examines himself in the mirror. "Still too fat, still too fat," he mutters. Hee.

The monks start yodeling again as we return to Roddy, The Thinker. Only now, it seems like those who loved him last time are starting to find him a bit of a windbag. This time, we see him telling Josh that when a whip cracks, it's a mini sonic boom. I should start by saying that as a general matter, I am biased toward Roddy's position in this segment, for the simple reason that I tend to like people who tell me weird and obscure things I don't know, especially if they know a lot about things I know nothing about. I really don't get tired of this sort of thing nearly as quickly as normal people do, so I'm not a good judge. However, he blows his entire advantage with me by gently pointing out that he has trouble talking to the other people in the house, because they talk about "pop culture" and "television shows." Ugh. Dude, you're on reality television. You're doing it right now. Not only that, but you're on the dumbest, trashiest reality show of them all. Please don't imply in any way that you're too good for TV. (An ideal person, of course, knows a lot about the climate on Mercury and the history of the socket wrench, and also knows about pop culture and television shows. That's how you know you are in the presence of greatness. I should point out here by way of illustration that one of my friends once hypothesized that he was the probably the only person who was upset that Cleopatra 2525 was on at the same time as Prime Minister's Questions.) So I feel for Roddy that he has nobody with whom to discuss philosophy, but he's getting no sympathy because he has to sit through discussions of popular culture, because if you can't find anything interesting in that, you're not trying. Chiara diary-rooms, essentially, that Roddy's sentence structure is too complex for her tiny brain to comprehend. Danielle tells us that she doesn't know what to do except pretend to care, either. In a particularly great moment, Chiara comments that it's just not important to her that Roddy knows really wild, advanced, mysterious things like the names of all the provinces in Canada. (Let's see...there's Ontario...and Alberta...and Port Charles...and the Congo...and Mazatlan...but I don't know the rest of them.) Roddy has a talk with Chiara and Josh about the fact that it's been made perfectly clear to him that everyone finds him boring, so he's decided not to talk at all anymore. They assure him that everyone in the house makes fun of him largely because they know that he's smarter than they are (which is true) and that they secretly are really, really listening to everything he has to say (which is not true). Josh also says he's used to being the smartest person he hangs out with. I think he must spend a lot of time with the cat.

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Big Brother




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