Time to find out America's Player: It's Dan, which should throw a bit of a wrench into his plans to lie low. Which is probably why you picked him in the first place. Dan laughs as he reads the briefing letter aloud in the DR, and then debates it in front of us before ultimately deciding to accept.

Tonight's HoH competition looks like a suicide pact, with the ten remaining houseguests minus Keesha standing on a building ledge attached to a fake wall. They're facing out, but they have a railing running behind them to hang on to. And whoever stays up the longest gets to be HoH. The wall tips forward and shakes in imitation of an earthquake, complete with dust cascading down on them. We watch this for a while as nobody falls off and nothing happens whatsoever. Anybody want to give odds on Julie not saying "It's going to be a long night"? Oh, and we're given instructions to vote on who Dan should try to get nominated. If you want to vote that bad, you can probably figure it out.

After the last commercial break, Big Brother fires up the wind machine. Julie tells them to "hang in there... it's going to be a bumpy night." Shit. We leave them still shaken and dusty, and we hear Memphis telling Jessie to take his shirt off. I don't know if that's because he wants to see Jessie let go and fall, or if he thinks Jessie can just Hulk out of it. If Jessie does either, it's after the credits end. Maybe Memphis just hates that t-shirt as much as I do.

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M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.