Hardly is all crying and moaning to Nicole. Yeah, Bunky is the weak one. Hardly cries more than anyone I've ever met, and that includes my four-year-old cousin Nate. Why doncha try keeping a stiff upper lip for, like, three minutes, Hardly? Nicole listens to him cry about how hard the game is and how he's not a bad person, but he's turning into a bad person and 8ekgk75be+drtbftrhyujbmprbmgpuogb -- sorry, I passed out from boredom and hit the keyboard with my face.
In the Big Blue Chair of Big Buff Crybabies, Hardly sobs that Nicole helped him out of his mental funk.
In the Big Blue Chair of It's Miss Richard Hatch, If You're Nasty, Nicole lies and says that Hardly is "a godsend," and that they'll be friends forever. Do you hear her? 4EVA!
Nomination time, at long last. Hardly makes his lame and repetitive "only a game" speech for the six thousandth time, and finally nominates Will and Kent, both of whom take the news as well as humanly possible. Hardly starts weeping whilst explaining the reasons behind the nominations. I have no idea what he's talking about through all the burbling. Something about respecting them as people? I don't know. Anyway, Kent and Will say that they understand, mostly, I think, to get away from all the waterworks.
In the Big Blue Chair of Marked Men, Kent tells us that the house is "a pit of predators," and that "everyone in the house is a back-stabbing, manipulative phony." Sing it, Daddy!
Tuesday. Kent's still talking trash about Hardly, calling him "a hard-hearted phony like the rest of 'em, trying to snag half a million dollars."
The producers cackle to each other and cue up Saturday's nominations; Hardly's sobbing and snuffling. "[Hardly] started bawling like a child," Will says, in case we didn't catch that, what with all the tears and snot.
Krusta explains to the camera that Will isn't getting evicted: it's all part of Hardly's strategery to get Kent out of the house. Thanks for clearing that up, boozehound.
Out by the pool, Kent thanks Bunky for being "such a good friend." Bunky sniffles. "Don't make me cry!" he says. America dabs its collective eyes.
So, right after his Tender Moment with Kent, Bunky makes the rounds, asking how he ought to vote. Both Hardly and Nicole tells him to "vote his conscience." In the Big Blue Chair of Stop Being Hardly's Lapdog, Bunky, Bunky wrinkles his brow. "Interesting that [Nicole] should use the same words that [Hardly] did. Maybe they've had some conversations behind my back," he says. "But they're denying it." Bunky makes a humorously disgusted face. He's so much funnier in the Diary Room than he is out in the house.