Big Brother
Kent's Last Stand

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Kent's Last Stand

In the living room, Nicole does some sit-ups and informs Kent that she "threw" the last HoH competition. She says it was "strategy." She couldn't nominate him, she says, and she knew she'd be out of the house the next week if she didn't. Kent assumes that she's in an alliance he doesn't know about. Nicole swears that she isn't, and explains the house's new anti-Kent bias by saying that Krusta's "lost her mind [over Mike's expulsion]." Kent sneers along with the rest of the viewing public. "I hate Mike," the world mutters under its collective breath.

Next, Nicole goes and tells Hardly all about her conversation with Kent. She's thinking about voting for Will, she says, which would force Hardly to cast the tie-breaking vote. Hardly huffs and puffs and whines like a baby and refuses to be the tiebreaker.

Luxury challenge time. Each of the houseguests is given a blow-up doll or mannequin, and instructed to make his or her look as much like he or she does as possible. As the Wacky Pseudo-Gypsy Music of Luxury Challenge Hijinks tinkles in the background, Krusta beats the shit out of her doll. She doesn't like dolls, she says; she likes trucks. Also, she's nuts. Everyone else manages to garb his or her doll appropriately without resorting to violence.

Part two of the luxury challenge: each houseguest will be playing for $100 worth of the luxury of their choice. "I want a hundred packs of twenty-five-cent gum," Krusta says, further demonstrating the flaws in Louisiana's public education system. In a shocking departure from the usual luxury competitions, this one is high-larious. Seriously, I laughed until I cried. This is how it worked: the dolls are hidden inside the house. The houseguests, blindfolded and dressed in faux rescue-squad ensembles, have to go in and "save" them. Boys against girls. Whichever team rescues the most dolls wins. I have this theory. There are two types of people: those who think falling down is funny, and those who don't. Me, I always laugh when someone falls down. Laugh, and point. Not at old people, of course, and not if the person is seriously hurt -- I'm not a sociopath -- but otherwise, it's on! And no one falls down during this competition more than Will. Sure, the rest of the houseguests shuffle along, hands out like zombies, running into walls, and that is funny, but Will totally destroys the house. He knocks over everything in his path. Somehow, he gets so turned around, he ends up going outside again. He ruins the coffee table. He breaks the dining room table. Oh, it's gold, Jerry, comedy gold! Worst of all, poor guy, he doesn't rescue shit, and loses the challenge for the boys. Après competition, Will mournfully tells the camera that he "failed Shannon." At home with Jim, Shannon pouts.

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Big Brother

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