Julie gets on the viewscreen to the living room and tells them that they've passed the halfway point of the summer. All eleven of them clap, but none of them as loudly as I.
Julie decides to give them a current events pop quiz about the stuff they're missing, just for fun and meanness. The questions are who got engaged, Jennifer Aniston or Jennifer Lopez; which country won the most medals in the Olympics, where Dwight Howard was traded to, and a trick question about which of three events (a female NFL referee, the Mars Curiosity landing, the R. Patz/K. Stew split) were true, when of course it was all three. The camera lingers on Ian because the producers are clearly proud to have found a current event he cares about.
Time for the nominee speeches. Wil stands up and starts a fake rant, but says it's win-win whether he leaves tonight or not, because either way he'll be with people he loves, and tells them to make the decision for themselves. Joe and his increasingly towering fauxhawk stand up and say that he's heard a rumor that Wil's been making the case that Joe's loud. "Well..." Julie says. Joe makes a lame joke about learning "human whispering, "and then there's some weirdness about him calling Wil Sharon Osbourne. Julie says he's not only loud but long-winded (she leaves out embarrassing), so Joe finally wraps it up: "Keep it real and I'll keep feeding people." He should have started with that. And ended.
Finally the voting can start. Ashley goes first, and votes to evict Joe. Mike votes to evict Wil, and remembers to add, "Hi, Brady!" Julie leaves the "Quack Pack" vote until after the break, because otherwise there'll be no suspense whatsoever.
When we come back, Danielle kicks off the Quack Pack voting, "sadly" voting to evict Wil. There's this chick named Jenn who gets to vote, and she votes out Joe. Dan takes his Eddie Haskell routine with Julie to the next level, and votes to evict Wil. So do Britney and Shane, making it 5-2 against Wil. Ian's vote against Wil makes it 6-2, and he returns while Julie prepares to give the news that Wil's out.
When she does, Wil says something about looking good, then whips off his gray sweatshirt to reveal a red shirt and lets his hair down before hugging everyone goodbye, putting on his captain's hat, and marching out, leaving behind his sneakers and announcing, "I ain't nobody's..." something something. Clearly it's some inside joke because everyone claps, with the (possibly fortunate) side effect that I couldn't understand what he said. Wil comes out of the house and skips down the aisle to Julie while whatever goes on inside the house is almost completely bleeped.