Big Brother
Last Wil and Testament

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M. Giant: B | Grade It Now!
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Kiss Off

After the ads, we go to Schererville, IN to meet Joe's family. His wife introduces herself, and then repeats, "I'M SARAH. I'M JOE'S WIFE." Heh. We see a clip of Joe explaining to Dan by the pool how he met his wife on Yahoo.com, when it was actually her mom communicating with Joe on Sarah's behalf. Which is not creepy at all. The viewing party at Joe's house watches such game-changing clips as Joe getting to (loudly) host a PoV competition, and Mike talking about Joe when he isn't even there. "Mike Boogie is an asshole," Sarah says. I like Sarah. They also bag on Frank's obeisance to Mike, and Joe's son says Joe needs to play it cooler. And "shave that white thing off his face." I like Joe's kids, too. Sarah would advise him to trust his gut (shot of shirtless Joe, which the editors augment with a gratuitous timpani note, like Dan and his Dan-boobs aren't sitting right next to him), and "stop yelling in the Diary Room." Which might happen tonight, depending how the votes go.

There's a hero montage of Jeff in his previous seasons, and Julie reminds us that he won the fan favorite vote one of those years. Now that he's back in the studio, Julie asks Jeff if he'd like to go back in there. Jeff seems ready to do so, even though he says it's nice to be sitting across from Julie while less fired up. Julie teases him a bit like she might actually send him in there, and asks how it's going with Jordan. Jeff says they just moved to Santa Monica, and although he hasn't put a ring on it yet, he has until his birthday, June 5, to make it happen. As for the actual game, Julie asks Jeff about what he considers the biggest surprise, and he calls it Mike flipping the house on Janelle to save Frank. He also says anybody could still win it, but he's rooting for Ian. Julie shares that Jeff's current job is interviewing evicted houseguests on CBS.com, and lets Jeff try out his skills on her. This might actually lead to something revealing. Indeed, Jeff asks her what kind of player she'd be, and she says she'd be a combination of Janelle and Mike. "So no floater for you?" Jeff asks, actually prompting a reaction from her as she scoffs that there would be no point otherwise. "That's why you're here and I'm dotcom," he says. Okay, then. Julie shows us that in the Tweet-vote, the cash prize is in the lead. Boring.

Julie gets on the viewscreen to the living room and tells them that they've passed the halfway point of the summer. All eleven of them clap, but none of them as loudly as I.

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Big Brother

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