Big Brother

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As the players for the PoV competition are drawn, Jessie says that he's confident he can beat anyone in the house, physically or mentally. Well, that covers about a third of Big Brother competitions. For the random drawing, Keesha, Angie, and Jessie pick Libra, Ollie, and Memphis, respectively. Keesha names Dan as the host, like anyone cares.

All the DR speeches about the serious stakes in this PoV are kind of undercut by the fact that all the players go out to the backyard dressed as flowers, in green unitards with big petal hats. The competition's pretty simple; they all have to plant themselves in giant flowerbeds (not face-down, alas), and then endure a trickle of water on their foreheads for an hour. The trick is they have to estimate that hour themselves, and the winner will be the one who estimates the time most closely without going over. "Without going over" is always a big deal on this show. ["Just like The Price Is Right, another CBS show... coincidence?" -- Angel]

The water starts, and everyone complains about how cold and uncomfortable it is. After about twenty minutes, the other houseguests dump in giant pails of earthworms. Keesha gets the heebie-jeebies so bad that she drops out with only 22 minutes down. After a little while longer, Jessie publicly accuses Libra of convincing him to nominate Steven, and ultimately putting Jessie in the position he's in now. Libra doesn't waste energy responding.

With almost 45 minutes down, it's time to add the compost, a noisome mix of rotting meat, vegetables, and old Big Brother seasons. Everyone complains about the smell, even those who aren't playing. Ollie and Libra agree to quit five minutes apart from each other, on the shaky theory that at least someone in their alliance is more likely to win that way. With no clock shown on the screen, Libra goes first, and then Jessie quits seconds later so he can be sure that he's beaten Libra no matter what. They go to sit on the quitter's bench with Keesha and quietly argue about the Steven issue, while Keesha sits there uncomfortably thinking, "Move on, please." She really doesn't want to get drawn into a discussion with these two. Back on the playing field, Angie goes out, then Ollie, then Memphis. Competition over, and all that remains is to find out who won it. And the winner is...Keesha, because everyone else stayed in too long, by a minimum of fifteen minutes. I'm not going to pretend that I enjoy the fact that the people who lay in worms and compost the longest ended up losing. Keesha's feeling pretty good about her position, and Jessie calls the "survival of the fittest." News flash, Jess: YOU LOST.

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Big Brother

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