Big Brother
Li'l Soul Patch Hits The Bricks

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Strange Weather We're Having

We see the DR session in which Amy calls Chiara "Chi-whora," and Kiki opines that it's always been her theory that when you call people a nickname, it means that's what you are yourself. This is basically a very, very slightly refined version of "I know you are, but what am I?" Really, it is. Then, we see Chiara and her poor mother out on the street, where Kiki is telling us that her mom supports her "one hundred and ninety-nine percent of the time." What the hell does that mean? I would get "one hundred percent," and I would get the slight humor in "ninety-nine percent." I don't know. Maybe they taught percents on the same they taught nautical spelling in Chiara's elementary school. She comments that her parents weren't really "prepared" for the way she acted on TV. I think the American Psychiatric Association wasn't "prepared" for how she acted on TV, so her parents can hardly be blamed. Blah blah blah Kiki's friends, blah blah blah I-yam-what-I-yam. You know what? Cram it, nitwit.

Now we check in on Gerry, who is back at school. You can really tell that he's changed shape quite a lot since he arrived in the house. He looks terrific, actually. He talks about how much he likes being back at school, and how happy he was to see the family. Yay, Gerry. The kids in his classes seem to do a fair amount of good-natured ragging on him, which in my experience with teachers speaks pretty highly of his relationship with them. He says he lost nineteen pounds in the house, and I'm actually surprised it's not more. He says that the hygiene experience was a little embarrassing, and that it seemed like kind of a "cheap shot" and a stupid reason not to like him. Blah blah blah personal growth.

Marcellas is relaxing in L.A. before heading back to Chicago. (May I recommend Belly, a.k.a. Reality-Show Contestant Vortex Of Soul-Sucking Suckage? Seriously, as I understand it, you can't swing a dead cat in there without hitting some punk who ate rat heads on Fear Factor.) We see Marcellas meet up with a friend of Lisa's at some bar. He tells Friend Of Lisa that he thinks America let out a moan of disappointed despair when he didn't use the veto. Apparently, he wasn't able to pick up the audio from my house. This leads us back into another discussion of the eternal question of why he didn't veto himself, and you will be stunned, I'm sure, to hear that he thinks it's because he's such a wonderful and kind person. Do you suppose he thinks he's actually fooling anyone? Do you suppose he actually is fooling anyone? I just have to believe he can't be. I would feel uncomfortable sharing the world with people who believe Marcellas is as he believes he is. What would such a person be like? He goes on to say how badly he was hurt by Danielle, and then he gets back to the subject at hand, which is congratulating himself for his wonderfulness. Blah blah blah massive shared experiences.

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Big Brother




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