Big Brother
Li'l Soul Patch Hits The Bricks

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
Strange Weather We're Having

Danielle explains how really, really trying it was to endure the shower. Jason complains in the pool about how "unbelievably cold" it is. I'm telling you, they need to get someone more northern on this show, because these people are pathetic, embarrassing, meteorological wimps. It's Southern California. It's September. Honestly, how cold can it be? They all bail their little inflatable rafts as the rain continues to fall, and when it finally stops, they look visibly relieved. Lisa looks the most unfazed. Lisa looks, in fact, like she could do this all day, which is exactly what she wants Danielle and Jason to think. Lisa explains, in a particularly bizarre diary room session, that her inspiration for remaining in the competition was her underwear. Well, technically, she says it was her swimwear, but I think you'll agree that I can call it her inspirational underwear without running afoul of any journalistic guidelines. It turns out that the bathing suit top she's wearing was her mother's, and in a heartwarming (or at least pelvis-warming) show of romantic solidarity, she is wearing Eric's underwear. You can decide for yourself whether wearing your boyfriend's underwear in a situation like this qualifies as adorable, creepy, hopelessly twee, or strategically brilliant. After all, it's always possible that Eric's underwear held the key to all of his powers. What powers, you ask? Well, the power to make girls want to wear your underwear, for one. You have to admit that as a theory, it has an elegant simplicity.

Danielle's teeth are chattering madly. I just find it hard to believe that it's cold enough to justify madly chattering teeth. I don't even behave that way in Minnesota when it's forty degrees below zero. Up here, we just plug in the iron until it's good and hot (the "Linen" setting is good), put it inside a nice knit hat, put it on, and go. Thus the big old floppy winter hats. Plenty of room for the iron. Anyway, Lisa opines that a lot of Danielle's chattering jaw was intended to throw Lisa off, and was not in fact genuine chattering at all. Actually, although I certainly wouldn't put the psych-out past Danielle strategically, in this case, I think Danielle is just wimpy about the weather.

As it continues to "rain," Jason makes a grab for his cartoon-bear hat with the wrong hand, and lets go of his key. He puts his hand back on as quickly as possible, but the buzzer sounds, because Big Brother has already seen him. Isn't it interesting that Mr. Honesty's first move was to put his hand back on his key and see if he could get away with it without getting caught? Heh. I knew he had it in him. He beats himself up over it quite frantically, but honestly, he just lost his concentration for moment, and in these endurance games, it happens that that's exactly what you can't do. It's also creepily similar to how the parallel game ended last year for Nicole. Make a grab for something else, not remembering you're supposed to be keeping your hand on the key. Mental toughness, baby. It's what all the cool kids are wearing. In the diary room, Danielle says she was shocked that Jason let go of his key. Jason tells us he was upset because he wanted the competition, and "felt like [he] could have gone the distance." I actually don't think he could have. I don't think concentration is Jason's strong suit, and if he hadn't let go when he did, he wouldn't have let go very long after that. He doesn't have great powers of focus. In fact, he sort of puts me to sleep, so maybe he has the same effect on himself. When he's gone, Danielle says in the diary room that she was desperately holding onto the key, because if she let go of it, she would be letting go of $500,000. So for those of you who believe that Danielle was never playing for the $500,000, but was only ever playing for second place -- which would make her strategy of apparently ignoring the people outside the house who would be watching her snipe at behind their backs a little more understandable -- I think that moment pretty well proves that wasn't the case. I would like to believe that Danielle was savvy enough to have realized quite a while ago that no one liked her enough to award her a half-million dollars after the way she's behaved, but apparently not.

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