Big Brother
Li'l Soul Patch Hits The Bricks

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Miss Alli: B- | Grade It Now!
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Time for phase two of the HoH competition. In this game, Danielle and Jason each have to complete a sort of moron obstacle course, completing a series of tasks as quickly as they can. The competition includes really adrenaline-pumping things like doing laundry and making a peanut butter sandwich. You know, sometimes it just seems like the people who make this show become so absorbed in it that they don't even remember anymore what's interesting and what isn't. A peanut-butter-sandwich-making race? I think next season, I would like to request a different competition coordinator. Preferably someone with less interest in dumb things.

Danielle starts the competition by arranging the pictures on the memory wall in order of when the various houseguests were evicted. She doesn't seem to have too much trouble with this, which I guess isn't surprising, given her excellent record of keeping track of how many are "down" and how many are "to go." She runs outside, where the next task is to wash a towel in the shower. Well, okay, you use the shower to fill up the bucket, and then you wash the towel in the bucket. She dunks the towel, and then she puts the towel through the wringer, then into the dryer. Next up is Danielle's favorite pastime: making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Moreover, she has to actually eat the sandwich. Woe is Danielle. In case you don't remember, she hates peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, although she always hesitates to complain about it. Well, not "hesitates to complain" as much as "rushes to whine," but that's neither here nor there, I guess. When she has successfully choked down the sandwich, she goes to the next task, which is to arrange a set of pictures in order of when various people won the power of veto. She doesn't finish it. In the diary room, she insists both that she did not throw the competition and that she was praying that Jason would beat her. I find it very hard to believe that both of those things can be true. How can you really do your best in a speed competition when you're praying you'll lose? Whatever. Danielle explains -- in case you were having trouble keeping up -- that the reason she didn't want to win HoH was that if she did, she would have to break her word to Lisa in order to keep her obligations to Jason. And Danielle is all about keeping her word. Or at least all about making it look like she's keeping her word. At least to Jason and Lisa. Well, at least to Jason. Well, until the pool. Actually, I'm not sure what Danielle is all about anymore, except her "needs" and, of course, the countdown.

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