Voting. First up are Eric and Amy. Unsurprisingly, Eric votes to boot Tonya. Amy, much to my dismay, keeps to her plan from last episode, and votes to evict Tonya as well. Sigh.
Now it's time for the Loved Ones On Parade segment, which opens hideously with Josh's girlfriend Merritt looking into the camera and forcing her obviously reluctant cat to wave to "Joshie." Her cat is like, "I hate that bastard. Don't drag me into this." I detest her on sight. She's been with Josh for a year, which classifies her as rather masochistic, and she hopes to marry him, which qualifies her as mentally deranged. One of the little tidbits we pick up here is that Josh calls her "Mewwitt." Pardon me while I get a pail in which to throw up. She and a couple of other idiots who I guess are supposed to be friends of Josh's sit around watching the show, wearing the same dipwad blue do-rags he was sporting for about the first week. Merritt threatens the earth with the spawn of Josh. I'm surprised she doesn't follow this up by poking her finger into her cheek and demanding "one miiiillion dollars" to forego fertilization.
Tonya has a boyfriend, and his arms are much, much too big. They must look like a cartoon crimefighting couple when they walk down the street together. Silicone Sally and the Bicepinator. He talks about what a super-terrific, plain old mom Tonya is. I guess he doesn't read The Smoking Gun. He clarifies that Tonya's "the sweetest, most respectful" of women. He then admits that the part where she let other women smear peanut butter on her genitalia and paraded around the back yard surprised him just a tad.
Back to Mewwitt, who says, "If there's something that Josh has, it's integrity." Well, good, honey. If there's something that I have, it's a screaming headache. She weepily tells us that she didn't get a chance to tell him how proud she is of him before he left. For the war. And if he should die in battle, she will never have the chance to tell him. Oh, no, wait -- he left for reality television. You're going to see him again, pumpkinhead, unless a piece of the lighting rig should happen to fall on his head. I write myself a note to add that to the prayers I say before bed.
More voting. It's Gerry and Chiara, and unsurprisingly, they both vote to boot Josh.













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