Big Brother
Marcellas Makes His Move

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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Peanut Butter...Shudder

Veto meeting time. Gerry hopes Danielle will leave the noms alone, while Tonya and Josh are both hoping to be spared. Josh congratulates himself on keeping his sense of humor. (He keeps it in a terrarium, presumably, where it can feast on bugs in peace without being condemned by the Health Department.) Danielle gives the boring veto speech, but in the end, she chooses not to use the veto. She diary-rooms that she did this because Marcellas wanted her to leave the nominations alone, and she somehow had to let him believe he had power. It makes no sense, really. She has a way of seeming smarter than she actually is, I think. As stated previously, her strategy just seems to be to do whatever is counterintuitive, because it seems "strategic." I don't think she's actually nearly as good a player as I once believed her to be.

You know, as you watch Tonya make her way across the living room, you can literally see how much her boobs make her prone to tip over. It's a little bit sad, actually -- she looks very uncomfortable. Josh and Danielle have a meeting in the Aquarium Room, where she tells him she couldn't veto him. He tells her it's fine, but starts whimpering about how upset and scared he is. She tells him not to give up, and to "be Josh." She says "be Josh" about six more times. It reminds me of A Very Brady Christmas. I know, that's horrible. But see, it had this one line, where Marcia's husband apologized at the dinner table for something he had done, and she said, "Don't be sorry! Just be Wally!" My sister and I repeated that for, like, years after it was on. So..."be Josh." Whatever. He pretends to cry. I think they're honestly two rather limited thinkers, neither of whom really has a strategy, circling each other because they're not smart enough to think very far ahead. They're both bullshitting each other, and they both think they're getting away with it. And they both sort of are.

Thursday. Man, I can't wait for this eviction. I can't stand these people. But surely, they'll evict Josh. RIGHT? Sigh. Anyway, previously, I hated everyone. Previously, everyone was annoying. Previously, Marcellas was HoH, and he nominated Josh and Tonya. Previously, that was very, very good news.

Julie Chen is wearing a ruffly shirt in an aggressive watermelon shade. The ruffles are sort of all over the place -- down her arms, around her neck, doing a sort of peasant-pirate thing. And again with the double necklace. Julie, you are not in seventh grade. Get rid of your middle-school jewelry. Julie recaps recent events, in case you missed them during the previouslys. She stands up and displays her protruding clavicle as well as her dark blue-gray pants, which make her look even pinchier than usual. The seriousness with which she appears to approach her duties on this show is beginning to frighten me. I imagine her in front of a mirror at night, rehearsing different ways to say things like "rebuilding alliances" and "peanut butter and jelly."

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Big Brother

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