Julie tells the jurors that there was no plant, and no season-long America's Player, but that Dan was America's Player for a week. There's a montage of Dan's big week as AP, splitscreened with live reactions. Of course it's mostly Michelle saying "I knew it," even when I'd like to see Jessie's reaction to the replay of that extended hug. After seeing Dan's last move as America's Player, namely voting out Jessie, Julie asks Jessie what he wants to say to Dan. "Uh, it would be more so to America," Jessie says. Jessie thanks America, points out that he got to go back into the house in a gorilla suit, and reprises his famous fart noise. Thank you, Jessie, for reminding us of all of your accomplishments.
Julie now breaks the news of the $25,000 prize for America's Vote for favorite juror, but they're not going to find out who won it until after the commercials.
And after revealing the final vote, which begins now. Julie begins pulling the keys. Libra voted for Dan, April voted for Dan, Michelle voted for Dan, and so did Ollie. That right there is a majority of four, so Dan is the winner of Big Brother 10.
He and Memphis hug and walk out the front door, into a rain of confetti and hugs from everyone. Now Julie just has to impose some kind of order on this chaos during a final break before revealing the winner of the jury prize, which should make for a nice little anticlimax..
Back from the ads, Julie reveals that the other three jury votes were also for Dan. Ouch. "Feel the love," Memphis remarks with the good nature of a loser who just got $50,000 richer. Julie tells us that the vote for America's Favorite Juror was close, with Jerry in a close second and Keesha as the big winner. Okay, so I called that wrong. Clearly I overestimated the TV voting habits of Jerry's target demographic. Upon hearing the news, April somehow manages to refrain from eating her own face. Which is a shame, because that would have been a perfect ending to the season.
M. Giant is a Minneapolis-based writer with a wife, a son, and a number of cats that seems to have settled at around two. Learn waaaay too much about him at Velcrometer, or just e-mail him at m.giant[at]gmail.com.