Julie shows another vote. Bunky votes to evict Mike because he's "done and said some cruel and hurtful things" during his stay in the house.

Cut to Kent's HoH interview. These, too, are so similar every week. I'm just going to create a macro that reads, "[HoH name] has no regrets about [his/her] tenure as Head of Household. [She/He] realizes that it's just a game. [HoH name] fully expects [HoH enemy] to engineer payback of some kind. [Diplomatic statement of the week]."

Finally, Julie gives the verdict: Mike is out 4-1. He bounds out of his chair and hugs everyone in the house except Kent, who he ignores. Kent firmly wishes Mike good luck, to which Mike responds with a wan "Thanks." Mike tells the rest of his housemates to have plenty of fun, and hopes they don't "kill each other."

At the door, Mike and Krusta have a long talk. Well, Mike talks. Krusta bawls. He gives her his lucky rock, and the birthday candle from their date in the diary room a couple of weeks ago and tells her that he hopes she wins. She snuffles. Finally, Mike manages to untangle himself from her grip and leaves the house. Krusta keens piteously.

Krusta stumbles, wailing, into the bathroom, where Bunky helps her blot her eyes so as not to ruin her mascara and reminds her that Mike isn't, like, dead in the street.

Out in the studio, Mike kisses Julie's hand and chortles that now they "get to flirt in person." Julie is less than thrilled. They talk. The end. See you next week!

Kidding! I'm sorry, Mike just exhausts me. Anyway, he tells Julie that "everything got mixed up the first week," what with Justin getting kicked out, and Mike's plan to get rid of Nicole backfiring, and that whole thing where it turned out that he was a total asshole. "There wasn't a way to fix it," Mike explains. Yes, it does seem that his asshole-osity is incurable. Julie brings up Mike's charming stars/extras comment, and Mike yammers something to the effect that he was put in the house for his magnetic and charming personality. I can't hear the rest of the interview over my own retching. The end. See you next week!

Shit. More. Mike says that he applied to Big Brother to "have fun," and that he couldn't figure out why the less-fun people were even there. Um, money? That's my best guess. Finally, Julie shows him footage of "the extras" voting his white ass out of there. The end. See you next week!