Big Brother
Mike Sucks For The Last Time

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Jessica: B | Grade It Now!
Mike Sucks For The Last Time

Big Blue Chair of Herpes Simplex II: Krusta twangs that she's real mad about the stuff Kent said about her, being untrustworthy. She swears it isn't true!

More machinations. Will explains to the camera that he really wants Mike to stay in the house, but Mike's dragging his feet because he doesn't want to screw Krusta. Well, he doesn't want to screw her over. Will informs Mike that he really thinks he can talk Nicole into aligning with them, and using her power to sway the vote toward evicting Krusta. Mike makes conflicted faces.

Yackety smackety, more alliance talk. Seriously, at this point, I am so confused. Everyone's indulging in so much back-and-forth, and doublespeak, and lies, that I really don't know what's going on. Nicole is talking to everyone about everyone, and somehow Kent and Hardy are involved, and it's all, don't tell him, tell him, do tell him, don't tell him. I don't know. The best I can figure out is that, for some reason, Kent and Hardy are irritated with each other, and Hardy has decided that he likes Mike. "I really like Mike," Hardy says. Hardy says that he likes Mike. He says it aloud. Hardy, are you high?

Kent and Bunky stand outside and discuss, in hushed tones, the fact that they can't trust Krusta or Hardy. Apparently.

Krusta's still on her virulent anti-Kent rampage, and, honestly, I don't get why she's so pissed. He said she was deceitful. From what I've read about the live feeds, duplicity is the least of Krusta's problems. Also, so what? They're all being deceitful to a certain extent, and she nominated him earlier in the game. Turnabout, fair play, and so on. "If I stay in the house, Kent's really gonna get it. He's gonna feel the reap," Krusta says. Huh? Is that a riff on the old Blue Oyster Cult song, "Don't Fear The Reaper"? Is "the reap" short for "the Grim Reaper," and Krusta is, in effect, saying that she plans to kill Kent? Is she referring to the phrase "reaping what [you] sow"? Is she just smoking crack?

Then the earth starts turning backward on its axis, blood rains from the skies, the seas boil, and the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse take to the streets: Hardy, Will, and Nicole pinky-swear an alliance in the bathroom. Hardy. Will. Aligned. People, we have reached the end time.

Kent sits out on the patio, alone, talking to the camera. He softly calls the young'uns inside the house "freaks," and says that the really cool and hip people are "moms and dads." Poor Kent. He seems so lonely and depressed. I feel for him. "The love of a child, or the love of a mate, is the kind of thing that will last forever. These are the kind of people I hope my children don't grow up to be," he muses. That makes two of us, Kent, and I don't even have any children.

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Big Brother




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