Big Brother
Mike Sucks For The Last Time

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Mike Sucks For The Last Time

Will and Kent talk again, and make a deal that if Kent doesn't nominate Will this week, Will won't nominate Kent in the future. In the Big Blue Chair of the Puppetmaster Returns, Will admits that he does think Kent "owes" Mike, but that he also needs to save his own ass by going along with the group. "I'm the biggest liar in the house," he says, "maybe the biggest liar in California, and -- let's go out on a limb here -- maybe the biggest liar in America." I hate to say it, but that really cracked me up. I can't help it! He's funny! I love to hate him! Anyhoo, Will claims that he's going to get HoH next week, and that he's going to nominate Kent and Hardy next week! Aww, Puppetmaster. I missed you, and I didn't even know it.

As part of his HoH luxuries, Kent gets letters and pictures from his family. He cries. I sniffle. It's all very sweet.

Nomination time. Ritual blah, ritual blee. The two poor slobs on the cutting block this week are Mike and Krista. Krista looks perturbed, but Mike is outright pissed. Kent skips the usual "it's nothing personal" speech and gets right down to the nitty gritty, telling Mike that he nominated him because Chill Town "meant painfulness, mean-spiritedness, and that's unfortunate, because out of the house [Mike is] a stand-up guy." Smoke comes out of Mike's ears. Kent says he nominated Krista because she's playing the game "for Krista, by Krista," because she's "betrayed confidences," and because he doesn't respect her strategery. Krista purses her lips. Monday, Kent says, they'll have a meeting to discuss the nominations. Mike is all, we'll discuss them now, and then he totally throws Kent's kids in his face, asking how he's going to answer them when they ask why he sold out "Mike Boogie," who saved him in the first week. I have so many things I'd like to say about this little speech. First, Mike, Kent's kids probably don't call you "Mike Boogie," you fuckwit. They probably call you, say, "that rat-faced little twat." Second, could you be more of an ass? To Kent's immense credit, he remains very calm. I would have slapped Mike's face and then kicked him in the shins. And then I would have pantsed him. And then pointed, and laughed. "I didn't ask you not to nominate me," Kent reminds Mike. Kent doesn't know why he owes Mike something the other nine people who escaped nomination that week don't. Mike yammers. Kent calmly repeats that the rest of the people in the house aren't happy with Mike. Mike spits that Chill Town is no different from the rest of them, and that they're all going to turn on each other eventually. Kent raises his brow. "I don't care about when I leave," he says firmly. "I care about how I leave." And with that, Kent takes the Box of Fate, turns on his heels, and leaves the room. Go Kent! Kent is totally my new boyfriend. My older, glasses-wearing, mole-having, Ronald Reagan-loving boyfriend. I never thought I'd say those words.

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Big Brother

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