Sweet God, Nicole is shaving Will's body for him in the yard. I'm blind! I'm blind! Will wants to know whether there is anyway to save Mike. "By voting Krista out," Nicole calmly replies. Will wonders if that's at all a possibility. "Anything can be done," Nicole Zens. Will asks "how they'd pull a third." Nicole shrugs. "I could do it," she says. "Who could you pull?" Will asks. "Anybody I want," Nicole tells him. Will asks her to "name her price." Nicole tells him that she feels like he's trying to set her up, although Will denies it. She says that Mike needs to come to her directly before she does anything. Big Blue Chair of Suddenly, Nicole Holds All the Power. She admits that she can see the allure of voting Krusta out of the house. She says she doesn't know what she's going to do.
America's Choice results. By a margin of thirty-four votes, Hardy gets to talk to his grandma. It's the boringest phone call ever. Not that my phone calls with my grandma are all that riveting. I wonder if the Big Brother people instructed Grandma not to talk about what she's seeing on television, because all they're talking about is her health, and I think if I were in Hardy's position, and I was talking to, say, my mother, I'd be asking about who was trying to screw me, not about her health. Not that I don't care about my mother's health. I mean, I'd get to it. Just not right off the bat.
Oh, sweet merciful crap. The producers have given the houseguests a Ouija board. Personally, I had some creepy experiences with a Ouija board when I was younger, and I try not to mess with that stuff so much any more. Better safe than sorry, and all. But I don't believe for a second that the housemates are contacting any spirits from beyond the grave. In fact, Will more or less admits that he was pushing the planchette. "I pretty much told people what I wanted to hear," he admits. "The bigger the lie you tell, the more believable it is," he finishes. Everyone believes Will's planchette pushing, too, because they all get freaked when the board tells them that their behavior in the house is giving them bad karma. Dude, I could have told them that. ["Also I wanted to add that, leading up to the Ouija montage, the houseguests were saying that the house is 'haunted' because they could hear voices in the walls. Um. There are people in the walls. They're called the producers. And the house? Is a set. It's not fucking haunted. Morons!" -- Wing Chun]
Will tiptoes into the bathroom and asks Nicole whether there's any way she'd join an alliance with him and Mike. Nicole is non-committal. Will pleads that he really wants to keep Mike in the house. Nicole raises her brows. In the bedroom, Will tells Mike that Nicole is considering an alliance with the two of them. Mike doesn't think he can do that to Krusta. "Tell me why you can't do it," Will asks. "Because you don't want to look like an asshole on TV? Too late, man, you've already done it." Mike sort of chuckles. Truer words, friends, truer words.