Big Blue Chair of the Doomed. Mike says that if he somehow escapes eviction, he'll be "shocked and amazed." And North America will be horrified and appalled.
Over the next couple of days, Mike talks himself into believing that Krusta really wants to leave the house. He and Will play backgammon, and Will tells Mike that he's totally getting over Shannon's absence, and that there's no reason to believe that Mike won't recover from Krusta's departure. The Puppetmaster music begins tinkling in the background once again.
What with the Puppetmaster music and all, I totally thought this episode was over, but no such luck. Nicole still has to complain about all the cleaning she does in the house. Monica wisely points out that if Nicole wants other people to clean, she needs to give them a chance to do so. Every time anyone goes to clean something, Hardy agrees, Nicole has already done the work. Damn, people, just make a chore list and have done with it! If I wanted to listen to an argument about chores, I'd move back in with my parents.
Big Blue Chair of the Puppetmaster Lives! Will uses the word "Chilltonians." I stop listening. ["'Chilltonians.' Folks, this man is a medical doctor." -- Wing Chun]
Kent and Hardy confab by the pool. Kent tells Hardy that if he's not in TOP, he's a target. Hardy says something, but I think I can see....through his shorts...is that...? What? Oops, the scene is over. I have no idea what happened there, but I think Hardy said something about making sure the people he wants to win, do win. Those "people" he wants to win better not include Krusta.
Will:. "I don't want to hurt [Krusta], either, but I also don't want to hurt Will," he explains. Oh, Will's out for himself? I totally had no idea. Thank God we cleared that up!
Thursday. Julie Chen's outfit is, once again, super-cute. She seems to alternate weeks, with the cuteness and all. Last week: bad. This week: good. Her pants are all black and white and cropped and patterned. I like them. She's saying something about "surprising new alliances," but I don't catch all of it, because I'm busy appreciating her pants. And thinking that she could use a big, juicy meatball sandwich. That's not a euphemism: Julie has skinny legs.
Krusta and Mike make noise about how torn up they are, being up against each other and whatnot. My heart is totally bleeding. With hatred.
Out on the patio, Mike and His Immense Maturity get into it with Kent. "Are you staring at me?" Mike asks. "Mike, why don't you grow up?" Kent asks wearily. "Oh, we're talking about age and maturity now?" Mike snarks. Kent just looks sad. I'd like to point out that the "stop staring at me" argument got old about fifteen years ago, when my mother informed me and my sister that if we didn't shut up, she was going to turn the car around and we'd never get to go to Disneyland. And, dude, Mike has so much anger in his eyes. It'd be scary if he were anything other than a big old poseur. Everyone else watches warily, as Mike brings up Kent's kids again. "Keep my kids out of it," Kent says. "I'll keep your kids in it if I want," Mike sasses. "You better watch yourself," Kent warns Mike -- pretty calmly, considering how jerky Mike is. "What are you going to do?" Mike sneers. Kent just looks away. You know what's comforting me, through all this hatred and venom toward Mike that's flowing through my veins like the opposite of the milk of human kindness? The fact that he's never going to get a date again.