Seriously, I'm back now. He poses for her, calling himself "Mr. Pectacular," jumps to the floor, and rips off his tank top. Britney looks more horrified than impressed, which does more to get me on her side than anything she's done all season. "We have an hour," he lectures her, "and I'm going to tell you all the secrets that you need to know... to look like me." Not exactly what Britney was hoping for. "What is the rest of the house getting?" she demands.
Right on cue, the other houseguests are released out into the backyard to enjoy a Hawaiian luau, complete with hula babes. Even for the Have-Nots. Upstairs, Britney tells Jessie diplomatically, "I don't know how I feel about this." Jessie tells her what she's going to feel: "The burn, Toots." She's totally distracted by the video from outside, even as Jessie desperately tries to direct her gaze to his freakish arms. He basically drags her through a workout, and dismisses her after what I'm sure is the longest hour of her life. "Oh my God, kill me," she mutters on her way out of the HoH room. Of course the luau's over by the time she exits. She tells them all about her hour in Hell, which they find hilarious.
Britney and Brendon are called to the Diary Room to put on their "love cuffs." And they're still cuffed together when Brendon has to go across the backyard and fully dunk himself in a tub of green slime every hour. This goes on all night, and of course Britney has to get up with him every time. The next morning in the Diary Room, they look as exhausted as new parents. When everyone else gets up, Ragan frees Brendon from the chum, and both of them from the "love cuffs." Britney literally cannot get away from him fast enough.
Britney talks to Matt about her predicament. Someone has to go home and she doesn't wan to put up Lane, she doesn't want to punish Ragan for not even getting to play, and something about Matt and Hayden comes out through a mouthful of cereal. Matt basically throws Ragan under the bus, because he still thinks the Brigade is on his side.
Matt goes to Lane to talk to ask him to sell Britney the idea of booting Britney. While Lane does that, Matt goes out to talk to Hayden and Enzo about the "plan," totally unaware that the only one on board with Matt's plan is Matt himself.
"Matt's been on my ass all day," Lane reports to Britney, and he does mention Matt's wish for Ragan to go up, although it's in an annoyed way. Britney tells Lane, "I'm trusting you," and he "jokes," "That's not good." She's not amused, and threatens, "If you are really in an alliance with somebody else and you're just playing me for a fool, and I see that, I'm gonna kill you." Lane points out that he's too dumb to pull that off. He's not dumb enough to try to deny it, though.