Big Brother
Nice Throw

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Dickless

Next morning, Dick is called to the DR. With a loud belch, he slowly comes in from the back yard, and the moment is stretched out as long as possible, so we know that what we know is coming is coming now. He's in there for a long time as the houseguests go about their boring business, until they eventually notice his absence after more than an hour. Jeff decides to go look for him, but he doesn't seem to be anywhere. People are starting to worry, particularly the veterans. But not about Dick, obviously, because who would worry about him except as your evil ally? After an indeterminate amount of time, Rachel is called to the DR, which clues even Jordan in to the fact that Dick isn't still in there. But they're not going to find out what's up until after the commercials.

Post-ad break, there's a replay of Rachel heading into the DR. "Now can we start conspiracy theories?" Jeff asks. When Rachel emerges shortly thereafter, she gathers everyone in the living room to read them an announcement from Big Brother: "Houseguests: Due to an urgent personal matter, Dick had to unexpectedly leave the Big Brother game. This summer, everyone's playing in pairs, and Daniele no longer has a partner due to circumstances beyond her control. As a result, she will be given the first Golden Key. Daniele, this means you will be guaranteed a spot in the Top ten. Until then, you will not compete in any competitions, but you will be allowed to vote." Daniele doesn't look as happy about this as you might think; she tells the DR that she wants to know her dad's okay, regardless of their relationship. Adam says it was scary to play against Dick, amazing to play with him, but Dick's departure is "pretty sad." Jeff says they may never know what happened to him (we should be so lucky), but they have to "buckle down, focus, and start playing this game." But first, Daniele wants to cry to Brendon and Rachel in the DR, saying of Dick and Big Brother, "this is his life, which is disgusting and embarrassing [heh], but he's not just gonna leave for nothing." Daniele realizes that their whole alliance is numerically screwed, and now that she can't play in any competitions for four weeks, "Why am I here?" In other words, she's crying over what they were all mocking Porsche for crying over earlier. In fact, they've already given up, now that it's five veterans against eight newbies. Jordan comes in, saying that Keith was smiling downstairs. Brendon heads for the door like he's going to crack some skulls, but the women try desperately to talk him down. Even Jeff tells him, "Relax, dude," when he joins the veterans' caucus. Most of them whine about how it's impossible for them to win now, and it's completely "unfair." Jeff is the only one who's looking at this constructively as they kvetch about how the second chance they got at this is now in the dumper. He agrees that it sucks, but whining about it won't get them anywhere, and goes all Patton on them. After all, did America give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?

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Big Brother

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