Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: B+ | 336 USERS: B-
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The Nicest Jerk Ever

Inside the house, Brendon warns everyone to be ready. Enzo also whispers something to Brendon that doesn't seem unfriendly. Just hedging his bets, probably.

Out in the studio, Rachel tells Julie she isn't shocked, because she knew everyone else was scared of her. Julie comments on Rachel's lack of comment during her exit, and Rachel says she had nothing else to say. If only that had been true earlier in the game. Julie asks Rachel why Brendon's plan didn't work, and she sticks to her story that they're scared of her, and has suddenly decided that she's shocked after all. What about her future with Brendon? Rachel giggles that she'll probably move to L.A, and they'll make it work. That sound was Candice no longer being on Team Rachel. If they're on The Amazing Race in the spring, I quit.

In the farewell messages, Matt tries to cut Rachel slack for being "sucked into the Brendon vortex," but then wrecks it by calling her bitchy and moody at times and saying "I don't know if that's a female thing." Charming. Enzo says he sometimes wished they were on the same team. I bet he did. But Enzo, you picked the teams, so live with it. Britney mocks Rachel and her hair extensions, braying, "Who wants to see me go into the Jury House, wooo!" and Rachel barely cracks a smile. Hayden tells her that if the showmance that got her kicked out of the house is real, it's going to be worth more than half a million dollars. I would have loved to see the goodbyes from everyone if Rachel wasn't going to be on the jury. Brendon tearfully vows to take out everyone who was mean to her. And Julie gives Rachel her muted sendoff, hinting that she may see the Big Brother house again. Oh, marvelous. I hope it's nothing more than a conjugal visit. Off-camera.

HoH competition. Everyone is attached to a different-colored rope, which is tangled through a huge grid that they'll need to cross. First one to get to the end of the course with their untangled rope wins HoH. Before giving them the go signal, Julie adds that the HoH will also be able to name three Have-Nots for the week. Then they go. Feathers start raining from overhead, just to keep things as silly as possible and to stay in keeping with some vague farm theme. I don't know.

Big Brother

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