Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A+ | Grade It Now!
A Perfect Record

After the ads, Julie gets on the viewscreen to the living room, except she's standing on the other side of it from usual, which fucks with my head. Julie finally gets to talk openly about the Brigade during a living-room Chenterview, and so her first question is an inane one: how did they made it this far? Enzo, with uncharacteristic (and almost certainly strategic) modesty, claims to have no idea. Julie asks Lane how hard it was to keep his alliance secret. Lane says it was hard because he was excited about it, and people thought he wasn't even playing. Julie asks Hayden how he thinks the jury will react when they learn about the Brigade from Britney. Hayden says they'll hate them all, but I guess at least they'll be hated equally.

Julie lays out the endgame for them. Lane and Enzo will play in part two of the HoH competition. Whoever wins that competes against Hayden, live, during next Wednesday's finale, which means all three of them are staying in the house to the bitter end. Whoever wins that is the final HoH, who will boot the final evictee to join the jury live in the studio. And then one of them will win a half-million dollars. That last thing is the only part of this I really have a problem with.

Time for an Enzo montage. We see him talking to Lane and Hayden, the latter of whom tells him to win a competition already, so he can hear from his wife at home. Cut to Enzo's hometown of Bayonne. His wife's main complaint about Enzo is that she didn't use to have laugh lines, which, as she says, isn't a bad thing to have to complain about. Back to Enzo in the house, this time talking about wanting to have another kid. The woman Enzo refers to as "Wifey" confirms that he's always spending time with their infant daughter, when he's not working one of his two full-time jobs or disappearing for three months to be on TV. A whole viewing party watches him dance, and Enzo's mom (whose Italian accent is quite sufficient without the concertina music on the soundtrack, thanks very much) says he's always wanted to be a funny guy. Oh, I'm sure he'll get there eventually. They watch the whole penguin bit, from donning to shunning, and we learn that Mrs. Enzo bought Gia a stuffed penguin. Then they see Enzo wiping Ragan out during Ragan's last Veto competition, and the only non-luxury competition Enzo's won, and they all react like this is the first time they're seeing this even though it's obviously an Enzo highlight reel. His wife gives him credit for manipulating everyone in the house without knowing they've been manipulated, and his mom wishes him good luck and thanks him in Italian. In other words, Enzo's not going anywhere tonight.

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Big Brother




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