Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 301 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Separate Vacations

Aaand...the front doorbell rings. Ragan goes to answer it, and in charges Rachel, screaming, "HA HA HA, I'M BACK BITCHES!" Although this does not result in seven Enzo-, Lane-, Hayden-, Britney-, Kathy-, Matt-, and Ragan-shaped holes in the far wall, obviously nobody is happy to see her. She revels obnoxiously in their unalloyed horror of her. "Someone opened Pandora's Box, and now you have to deal with me for 24 hours!" she brays. And then she tells Ragan that she's still a juror so he has to be nice to her. "No, I don't," Ragan says, adding that he'd consider her vote against him an honor.

She goes flouncing excitedly up to the HoH room to see Brendon, but the door's locked. Everyone downstairs speculates that Brendon got locked in when Rachel got "released." That's a telling choice of words, is it not? It calls to mind large, shaking animal crates and serial killers being wheeled in on hand trucks (and I think I just came up with the twist for BB13. Call me, Alison!). When Rachel comes back downstairs, thoroughly cockblocked, Ragan invites Rachel to count her friends in the house. "Done already?" he snots. The two of them exchange putdowns, and Ragan says that everyone dislikes her. Rachel asks for anyone to step up in her defense, like they'd take the side of someone who could still conceivably vote them out this week, but all that's forthcoming from anyone is Enzo's weak, "I'm friends with everybody, bro." Ragan leaves the room and Rachel sits down, trying to pretend she's not hurt. Britney tries to relieve the tension by asking her about the jury house, which doesn't last long because Ragan comes back. Rachel is brought up to date that Ragan's nominated, but won PoV, so they won't be seeing each other this week. Out of nowhere, Rachel asks him, "Do you have to be the biggest bitch because you're gay?" Everyone's jaw drops. Ragan calls her a "monster," and her lame comeback is, "You can't even keep a boyfriend." They keep going at each other until they both threaten to make every minute of the next 24 hours miserable for each other. The only good news is at a few of those minutes are over already.

Big Brother

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