Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 1 USERS: A+
Separate Vacations

She goes flouncing excitedly up to the HoH room to see Brendon, but the door's locked. Everyone downstairs speculates that Brendon got locked in when Rachel got "released." That's a telling choice of words, is it not? It calls to mind large, shaking animal crates and serial killers being wheeled in on hand trucks (and I think I just came up with the twist for BB13. Call me, Alison!). When Rachel comes back downstairs, thoroughly cockblocked, Ragan invites Rachel to count her friends in the house. "Done already?" he snots. The two of them exchange putdowns, and Ragan says that everyone dislikes her. Rachel asks for anyone to step up in her defense, like they'd take the side of someone who could still conceivably vote them out this week, but all that's forthcoming from anyone is Enzo's weak, "I'm friends with everybody, bro." Ragan leaves the room and Rachel sits down, trying to pretend she's not hurt. Britney tries to relieve the tension by asking her about the jury house, which doesn't last long because Ragan comes back. Rachel is brought up to date that Ragan's nominated, but won PoV, so they won't be seeing each other this week. Out of nowhere, Rachel asks him, "Do you have to be the biggest bitch because you're gay?" Everyone's jaw drops. Ragan calls her a "monster," and her lame comeback is, "You can't even keep a boyfriend." They keep going at each other until they both threaten to make every minute of the next 24 hours miserable for each other. The only good news is at a few of those minutes are over already.

Matt goes upstairs and finds the door to the HoH room open. Rachel rushes in and goes right to the Pandora's Box door, braying vainly at Brendon through it. Brendon, meanwhile, has just arrived at what I assume is the jury house, calling futilely for Rachel. Back in the house, there are no clues to Brendon's whereabouts, inside or outside. And at the jury house, Brendon finds a card reading, "While you're enjoying your vacation here, Rachel's enjoying her vacation somewhere else." His only consolation is that Rachel's having a vacation somewhere. So he floats in the pool, has a massage, and enjoys a gourmet meal. Yes, keep telling yourself that Rachel's enjoying herself just as much.

Rachel is planning to make some cookies and offers some to Britney in advance, but she says she's a Have-Not this week, along with Matt and Ragan. So Rachel goes right out to the yard and taunts Ragan with the cookies, because why miss a chance to be the bigger person. Ragan goes nuclear on her right away, calling everything about her a lie. "The only thing honest about you is the pimples on your chin." Ouch! Rachel is so overmatched here, but she keeps trying to score points off Ragan, even having the nerve to put down his gameplay. He makes the point that he's outlasted her, and she says she's back, like that's something she did. Ragan reminds her she's only there as a result of Pandora's Box: "It released something horrible in the house!" He goes on about how awful she is, and he's done talking to her. But of course he's not, telling her that in life, just like in the game, she'll get what's coming to her. "Take it as a tip and learn from it!" He leaves her standing there, with Britney innocently shooting pool by herself in the immediate background. I think we've all learned something. Except Rachel, of course.

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Big Brother




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