Big Brother
Pandora's Box, Part II

Episode Report Card
DeAnn Welker: D | Grade It Now!
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A Lying Liar Who Never Lies

Red team (Jordan and Michele) go first: They have to find socks first. Jordan picks a pair of socks that are possibly the hardest to describe, because they are plain gray with a lighter heel and toe. She can't even spit out the color "gray" without an assist from Kevin. Michele is all, "Gray with kitty cats on them?" Jordan: "No." Wow. That's helpful. Maybe Michele should describe and Jordan should find the match? Just a thought. Kevin doesn't like how long they're taking. They settle on striped socks with hearts and anchors. They put them on, and it's a match. Natalie and Kevin start, and Kevin admits it was a challenge because Natalie knows two articles of clothing: basketball shorts and sweaters. Okay, so sometimes I love that he's a stereotype. They find ladybug socks. Kevin loves the posing part. Natalie and Michele find yellow shirts. Kevin and Michele find camo T-shirts. Their poses are ridiculous.

For the third item, a scarf, Jordan actually says, "Michele, do you see a scarf that's, like, a rainbow color that looks like something Kevin would wear?" I don't even think she realizes that the rainbow flag is a symbol of gay pride, which makes it hilarious that she associates rainbows with Kevin, just naturally. They settle on blue flowers. Michele's sort of a sexy poser. Kevin and Natalie find an orange and black scarf. Natalie poses awkwardly. Next up: "bottoms." Michele and Jordan settle for yellow leggings. I'm not sure why they want to wear so much yellow, but whatever. Natalie chooses, of course, basketball shorts. Kevin makes fun of it in the diary room. Finally, they find hats. Michelle looks adorable in a little green and white cap. Natalie and Kevin choose a purple fedora, and look ... less than adorable. Okay, Kevin's actually cute, but Natalie looks as stupid as ever.

When they go back inside, it's been turned into a store. They have 3:28 to shop. If you'll remember, shopping in the BB house means putting on as many articles of clothing as you can. Whatever you're wearing when time's up, you get to keep. They start in. Jordan has trouble because of her giant fake boobs. Kevin's willing to body check people, and he even breaks the mannequin to take his pants off. Horror music plays as Kevin massacres the mannequin and takes every article of its clothing, adding a "Give me the scarf, bitch," for good measure. He needs a cigarette after, and can die happy. The mannequin? Not so much.

Kevin approaches Michele in the HoH to see if she might want to pair up with him for final two, because he doesn't see himself winning against Natalie and he doesn't think Michele would either. She just awkwardly says she really wants to make it to the final three. Kevin: "Anything can happen." That scene told me nothing. What was the point? Meanwhile, Natalie's telling Jordan that Kevin and Michele are her targets and she doesn't care which one of them goes. Natalie hasn't lied to Jordan at all, and Jordan thinks that's the most important. Natalie says they only have a shot together. Whatever. Liar.

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Big Brother

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