Big Brother
Preexisting Relationships

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Preexisting Relationships

Cut to Amanda, happily screaming and whooping and hollering as she leads the whole gang up to the HoH room. It's got a hula/tiki theme, with saucy photos of the HoH couple together. Alex shows people a cross-shaped bit of steel from one of the Twin Towers, a memento of his father's death on 9/11. Amanda has received a copy of her dad's favorite CD, which dissolves her into tears. These two clearly have more in common than I thought.

Allison seems to be getting tired of keeping the big secret about Jen and Ryan. So they, as well as Parker, gang up on her to try and pressure her into keeping her mouth shut. It's like I Know What You Did Last Summer, Even If Nobody Gives A Shit.

Back from ads, the night-vision cameras reveal a charming new factoid about Adam: he goes by the nickname "The Hooded Warrior" because he's uncircumcised. This cracks everyone up except Sheila, who just sees it as another reason to hate being stuck with Adam. Jen wants to see it, because she's never seen one. Adam is happy to oblige, in front of the whole house. Not that we get to see it. I never thought I'd say this, but thank you, FCC.

Allison decides to have a one-on-one talk with Sheila, saying she's feeling vulnerable and freaked out, but she can't say why. Genius. Fortunately for Allison, Sheila seems to be the type to respect Allison's situation rather than going right to work picking at her and trying to figure out what the big mystery is. That would cut into Sheila's bitching-about-Adam time, anyway.

Next morning, Jen and Parker come up with the genius idea of inoculating themselves against Allison by telling everyone about Jen and Ryan before Allison can. Parker starts by telling Alex and Matt, who aren't impressed that he's telling them now instead of when he first found out. So now the three guys' partners come in, and they're not thrilled with the news either. I'm not seeing why everyone is so upset about this. Yes, it makes the game intrinsically unfair, but it always is, every season, in one way or another. Play the hands you're dealt, losers. Then Matt goes and lets Allison know that he knows, and she's understandably pissed that she was pressured to keep her mouth shut and then got blindsided with the release of the information. So she goes and confronts Jen and Ryan, who accuse her of planning to spill all along, and say they were only trying to protect themselves from her. Allison denies having planned to do any such thing. Jen acts like a big loud freak, clapping her hands and yelling at Allison not to lie. There's some more yelling, until Allison produces Sheila, the one person she would have confided this in, and Sheila hasn't heard anything about it. "Okay, I'll give you that one," Jen smirks, thinking she's won. Idiot.

After the ads, Allison makes a tearful confession about Jen and Ryan to Neil and Joshuah, the latter of whom starts wondering who else in the house knows each other from before. So he gets the idea of making everyone swear on a Bible as to whether or not anyone else knows each other, which he thinks is sure to work because if you lie while swearing on the Bible you're sure to go to Hell. I don't find it ironic that a gay guy is saying that, but I'm sure there are CBS viewers who do. The houseguests gather in the living room and pass around the good book, all swearing in turn not to have known anybody before coming in. Not everyone is convinced. In fact, Alex and Matt decide afterward to form an alliance, swearing on their fathers. Matt DRs about what a big deal that is for him, and how he'll never invoke his father in this game again. Because it's out of the way in the first week, I guess. They then bring their girls into the alliance (they're happy to go along, which might have been complicated for the guys and Alex's dad if they hadn't), and resolve to win HoH or PoV every other week. Good luck with that, guys. So with that out of the way, they start talking about who to nominate for eviction. The first candidates? Jen/Parker and Ryan/Allison, of course.

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Big Brother




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