Big Brother
Rigged, I Tell You! Rigged!

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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What I love about Big Brother is Will. Will, Will, Will. And also: Will.

Sunday

In case you've forgotten, George became HoH, and he nominated Erika and James. And we're losing somebody tonight. Doesn't it all feel like this happened one billion years ago? It's like this show happens in dinosaur time. Only life forms are becoming less and less sophisticated by the day. Soon, none of us will be able to grasp a pencil.

One other bit of business: I feel like every time I say we "lose" someone from the house, the word "lose" dies a little bit. Feelings of loss feel a feeling of loss, you know what I'm saying? I will try to think of something else.

Tonight, even though it's Sunday, Julie Chen welcomes us, wearing a silky print camisole and black pants. I'm not sure why I always feel obligated to document what Julie is wearing, but I kind of do. It used to be a sort of Crazy-O-Meter, but now, it's more like it just reminds me that she has no control over her environment. She didn't pick that top or the contestants, so I try not to blame her. I'm sure she's also disoriented by being on my TV on a Sunday. She's usually sitting at home watching the live feeds and eating an ice-cream sandwich right about now. (Don't you think she and Les eat ice-cream sandwiches? I totally do. Ice-cream sandwiches, Katie Couric on the news, and a big tankard of champagne. That's the life I'd be living, if I had the resources.)

Julie tells us that George is almost done being HoH, because of the double eviction. It's so sad that George waited so long to be HoH, and it lasted, like, five minutes. George barely had time to adjust to the ugliness of his room. Julie looks very concerned as she explains the way George had to make his nominations so fast, and then we revisit the eviction of Marcellas in blue and white. Marcellas! See what I mean about dinosaur time? Wasn't Marcellas evicted years ago, back when frogs had vestigial wings?

Janelle tells us that she had no idea Marcellas was leaving. "These people are...liars!" she says with surprise. "They say they're going to do one thing, and then they do the complete opposite!" She is speaking here of Will and Mike. Both of whom, you'll remember, lied the entire time they were on this show previously. One of whom frequently talks about how lying openly is the only strategy that works. And yet, Janelle looks like she had no idea this was going to happen, or even that it could happen. "I feel like a frickin' idiot," she says.

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Big Brother

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