Big Brother
Rigged, I Tell You! Rigged!

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Miss Alli: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Legion Goes Boom

We do indeed return to Julie and her silk pants, as well as her comment that Mike and Will can "work the ladies." Lesson #1: Men who use the word "ladies" should not be trusted, and neither should women who refer to men who can "work the ladies." I don't know where I got my gut-level revulsion to the use of "ladies" -- well, I do, but I'm not going to tell you -- but at this point, there is no faster way to make me hate your guts than to address women as "ladies," in either the "hello, ladies" or the "work the ladies" sense. Julie says that Mike and Will are arguing about which of their pretend girlfriends would be better to take to the finals. How progressive.

So right about here, I'm going to skip over the parts where Mike is kissing poor Erika, because they make me want to hurl. In other riveting relationship news, Janelle and Will are taking walks around the yard. Will says that he's bored and lonely, and flirting is fun, but he feels like Janelle is pretty much in the palm of his hand. For her part, she giggles over how easy it is to make him do things like drink, because she doesn't process the fact that both the resistance and the acquiescence he offers in those situations are for effect only. In the HoH room, the guys talk about how they're going to let all these women to fight with each other. And then Will insists that he trusts Janelle more, while Mike insists that he trusts Erika more. Will DRs that he thinks Erika is "playing Mike Boogie." Mike insists that Erika can be trusted. Will insists that Janelle can be trusted. Mike DRs that Janelle might be playing Will. Neither of them seems to understand that neither of these women is smart enough to be playing anyone, even though one of them may very well win. Will clarifies for Mike that it's not about his feelings about Janelle; it's about Janelle not having other allies and being malleable for that reason. He explains in the DR, of course, that chicks come between buddies all the time. You know how it is with the ladies. He tells Mike about his Yoko analogy, and how they have to pick someone to come with the Beatles and be the Yoko -- either Erika or Janelle is coming with them. "James? He's Ringo Starr," Will says. "Chicken George? He's in the Monkees." Will needs to accompany me everywhere I go and mock all who displease me.

Julie takes us to the HoH room to talk to Mike for the usual pointless interview, which will all the more pointless since Mike is involved. She reminds him that he can speak freely, shutting off his usual carefully calibrated social filter. Julie says that he seemed to turn around on Janelle at some point, and asks where he stands on her. Mike talks about the showmancing of the two women, and how Janelle is still a big target. Does he trust her? "Not 100%," he says. He points out that they're taking out her entire alliance, of course. Julie then asks Mike about the possibility that he might have to choose between his friendship with Will and half a million dollars. For the first time in recorded history, this dumb secret interview yields something interesting. "Well, five years ago, Will chose the half a million over me. He moved on in the game at my expense. And I'm prepared to do it this season. But I really hope that the two of us can make it to the end." In case you didn't notice it, that was severe repressed rage going by there. He may not even realize it, but I will tell you right now, Mike is looking to knife Will, either at F2 or probably before that, since Mike would never beat Will in a vote. Look for that to happen. I've known guys in those Overshadowed Guy/Overshadowing Guy friendships, and if there's one thing I've learned, Overshadowed Guy always hates Overshadowing Guy on some deep, fundamental level. Take it to the bank. Julie asks about the coup, and Mike explains that it didn't get used, because he thought it was better to hang onto it, and then it turned out that he didn't need it. Another busted gimmick. Poor CBS.

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Big Brother

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