Big Brother
Big Brother

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B+ | 511 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
You Reap, You Sow, You Weep, You Go

More voting. Lisa, Marcellas, and Jason all talk about voting, but we don't actually see them vote. So it looks like it's going to be four-to-one, but we don't know which way yet.

And now, because they haven't been nominated and we haven't had a chance to look in on their home lives, it's time to visit with Gerry's and Danielle's families. Gerry's wife says he's a great dad, and his kids talk a little bit about how the bikini swimsuit full of slime and the paper towel baby diaper were especially embarrassing. (Miss Alli's Dad taught sex ed, so...B-O-O H-O-O, Gerry's kids. Call me and we'll talk embarrassing.) Gerry's wife agrees with the houseguests that Gerry needs to wash his hands more. Heh. We get to visit a very strange living room at Gerry's house that his wife calls "the Western room" or, in the alternative, "Frontierland." It looks like they've been smuggling decorative items home from Cattle Company every time they've been there for the last ten years. Cows, pictures of people square-dancing, cowhide patterns on the furniture...it's very Gunsmoke. Then she takes us to visit the Tiki Room, their personal taste of the Far East, which features Chinese figurines. ["So 'Tiki Room' is a misnomer. This is Tiki. It's Polynesian, not Chinese. If you're going to have a theme, name it correctly." -- Wing Chun] They also have a bathroom she calls the "Florida bathroom," which has a pink flamingo and light green tiles. It's too bad Don Johnson was in their bathroom in 1985 when he blew up.

Footage of Danielle's husband is followed by our introduction to her son. Oh, no, that's her husband, Javier. Eek. He looks about seventeen. ["Yes. They are now Frank Jr. and Mrs. Knight in my head." -- Wing Chun] Javier thinks Danielle's very compassionate, et cetera. Her daughters are gorgeous. Javier says that it was embarrassing when Danielle talked about how much sex she was going to demand when she walked back into the house. He assures her he's exercising and taking his vitamins. He talks about how they've had problems at times, and then in the diary room, she says the same thing. They talk about how much they love each other, and so forth. Very nice. But dull. Move along.

Amy's one-on-one HoH interview. Typical. I refuse to recap any more of these, because they always say the same damn thing. Well, all right, it is notable that Amy's self-righteousness continues to build as she accuses Chiara of having "mocked [her] values" and "mocked [her] morality." Because Amy would never mock anyone's values or morality. Seriously, Amy, shut UP.

Big Brother

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