Amy and Marcellas revel in being back in the HoH room together. They sing, they dance, they gossip, they do their nails, they trash-talk, blah blah blah. I want to find all of this a lot of fun, but I sort of don't anymore. They sadly seem united in pettiness in a way I just can't get into. They've gone from being the girls in high school who got picked on and therefore became bitterly funny to being the girls in high school who were always trying to make the top tier by being as mean as possible to the girls who were even less popular than they were. It's a little ugly.
Time for the food challenge. This week's competition involves a closed tornado booth (like a phone booth with a wind machine -- you know what I'm talking about), in which you grab flying money and food vouchers and stuff them in your bathing suit. In order to create equal footing for the men and the women, the boys are put into Speedos. Not the worst or most Speedo-like Speedos, but Speedos nevertheless. Marcellas says it made him look like "a fat girl in underwear." Oh, that Marcellas. What would he do without fat jokes? Nothing like transforming yourself into the new Don Rickles to keep things fresh. With a hearty introduction from Roddy, Gerry reveals himself in all his pale glory, and everyone laughs. (Gerry is the best sport ever about how much crap they give him, incidentally.) Jason then appears in the doorway of the HoH room with no agenda except waggling his ass in Marcellas's face, which is pretty cute and funny. I love the part where Bible Belt Boy flirts with the gay black man from Chicago while they both wear purple swimsuits. It's like a bizarre World War II movie set in Polynesia and featuring the most diverse platoon of all time. Danielle, apparently bored with the word "scandalous," declares the swimsuits "blasphemous." Which is stupid. Unlike "scandalous," which was just old.
Outside, the houseguests compete. We learn that Jason is best at stuffing bills down his suit, and Roddy sucks at it. "I stunk it up," says the Rod-man. They also win some money to send gifts to someone on the outside, and the houseguests decide to kick in all the money to Gerry so he can get an anniversary present for his wife. Kind of nice. There aren't all that many highlights. Marcellas comments on Roddy's "fabulous ass." Danielle once again takes the opportunity to ridicule Gerry's appearance, which is an especially crappy thing to do to a guy who's lost that much weight since they got there. Shut up, Danielle. As Gerry emerges from the money booth, Roddy says in a matter-of-fact, philosophical tone: "I love the gorilla dance for two reasons. One, because it's just inherently funny to me. And two, because it terrifies Marcellas." Gerry runs toward Marcellas, beating his chest like a gorilla. And yes, it's funny. Humor often defies logic. Jason comments that he felt "a little bit like a piece of meat" doing this particular challenge. Well, I'm glad he didn't miss the point. He looks nice in the suit. Not the gigantically buff kind of nice, just innocently nice-nice. You feel sort of guilty lusting after him -- the passion feels out of context, like pining for the ride operator on the log flume at Great Adventure. Amy gets food to make up for the day Roddy flubbed. In the end, $220 goes to Gerry for his wife, and he tells us he's going to buy her an orange tree. He says it's because whenever he eats an orange off the tree, he'll remember how seedy this entire experience was. Oh, no, I'm sorry. He says he'll remember how sweet they all are. Whichever.