Big Brother
Sayonara, Chiara

Episode Report Card
admin: B | Grade It Now!
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You Reap, You Sow, You Weep, You Go

On the other hand, you can't help but be drawn in by the houseguests' tremendous excitement. They haven't heard much music in quite a while, or seen other people, or had much reason to be...joyful, for lack of a better phrase, and it sort of bubbles out of them in a very appealing way. They dance like Duke basketball fans doing the pogo -- just sort of up and down a lot of the time. Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump. Jason is particularly fond of the pogo. They get one point for the fact that not one person claps on the downbeat. Because clapping on the downbeat is a ticket straight to hell. They are all really, really bad dancers, but they are also a great demonstration of one of the truths about dancing -- nobody looks that bad dancing if they are truly happy and truly enjoying it. The people who look atrocious are people who are too conscious of being watched, or who feel self-conscious about it. Really happy people wiggling to music always look okay. Sheryl goes on to "Soak Up The Sun," and I don't really like this song, either. No song should end with someone giving herself permission to "rock on." Ew. But I hate it less than the other one. Then Sheryl goes to meet the houseguests. They all giggle uncontrollably at meeting an actual bona fide famous person. When she has greeted them in a thoroughly perfunctory manner, Sheryl goes up to do "Steve McQueen," her latest, and says she feels like she's doing "a wedding or a bar mitzvah." Yeah, that's the quality of the dancing again. Incidentally, this song is a lot better if you pretend she's saying "fax machine" instead of "fast machine." It becomes a sort of hymn to a sociologically fascinating juxtaposition of retro heroes and modern office technology.

My goodness, who is that guy behind Sheryl Crow who looks like an evil Adidas jogger? The guy in the red -- who is that? I'm a little afraid of him. Keep an eye on him.

In the diary room, the houseguests say they loved Sheryl. And also, presumably, the Citronas that were surgically attached to their hands during the big show.

Marcellas gives Amy the rundown on what happened while she was gone. Well, he starts giving her a version of the rundown, I guess. His version is that Chiara went bad after Amy left, and became a backstabber. You will be surprised to know that Marcellas's version of events casts him as a heroic figure single-handedly trying to rescue the house from the pit of vipers. He also laments "vote fixing." Which has nothing to do with the scheming he does with Danielle at all. Not at all. Amy asks with a smirk whether Marcellas wants her to put Kiki and Roddy up against each other. He innocents in response that he wants her to do whatever she wants. Danielle, meanwhile, continues to sweat her theory that Marcellas has a deal with Roddy.

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Big Brother

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