Amanda asks Alex for a back rub, but when he declines, Parker is happy to step up. And she's happy to return the favor when he's done. There's all kinds of other traffic in the bathroom while this is going on, too: creepy Adam, voicing his approval (which is the best argument against it I can imagine); Alex, Amanda's jealous partner; and Jen, Parker's partner who may be almost as jealous as Alex despite having her real boyfriend there in the house with her (so far). "There is sooo much drama in the house," Amanda says while rubbing lotion into Parker's skin, as if she has no idea why.

Jen and Ryan canoodle in an easy chair, and Jen claims in a DR that they're like this all the time back home. And Ryan agrees that it's been hard to not be getting any for all this time. So then they sneak into the bathroom and hang up the "occupied" sign. But that's where their discretion ends, because Parker happens by and hears all the co-ed grunting and struggling issuing from within. Ew, I said "issue." Parker cracks up, and looks forward to a day of sloppy seconds: first with the toilet, now, and with Jen in bed, later.

Allison and Sheila sit and talk about how much Sheila will miss Allison if Allison goes. And their secret, made-up lesbian relationship now has a child, which they have decided not tell anyone about until the bitter end. Yikes, if Allison doesn't go this week, this could turn into a really twisted version of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? But keep in mind that they've already told two other people their fake secrets.

One of those people is Chelsia, who goes and lets James in on the made-up secret. James not only swallows the whole story, but acts like this explains everything. So then he goes looking for clues, like he's on The Mole. He hits on one in the guinea pig cage, in the form of a four-color 3-D puzzle that he thinks means there's a fourth secret relationship.