Big Brother
Settling In

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: C+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Eat, Drink, and Be Scary

Josh and Gerry have a chat in the storage room. Josh tells Gerry that he warned Lori about being nominated. Unbeknownst to them, Lisa is listening on the other side of the door, and hears Josh tell Gerry essentially that he reassured Lori that if Lisa doesn't toe the Goober line, she'll be out herself. Josh also tells Gerry that his real plan for the eventual, final, actual, genuine Sub-Goober Alliance is Josh, Gerry, Roddy, and Eric. Lisa? Oh, yeah. She's listening. Having heard this, she tells us that Josh is "a snake," and will "get his own snake poison back." Gee, probably. Because they're always smart enough to get rid of the backstabber when they have the chance. [Eye roll.]

As everyone waits for nominations, Chiara practices her Mary Katherine Gallagher, which is actually pretty funny. And now that she points it out, I do see the resemblance a little. Lisa interrupts the partying by rounding everyone up for the first stage of the nomination process, which is the dumb speech where she explains how it works. Blah blah blah, she gets all the keys off the wall, puts the keys of the people she's not nominating in the box, blah blah blah, and if your key doesn't show up, you're toast. Everyone seems to find this meeting unsettling, as it serves as a sad reminder that they can't just play in the slime pit naked for three months. My goodness, Lisa brought quite a few bikinis with her, it seems to me. I think I've already seen three.

More nomination talk from Josh. Chiara tells him to shut the hell up. "Ah laahke ever-bahdy," Amy laments. Ah, yes. The heartbreak of the softhearted skank. Inside the house, Lisa gets the keys off the wall, trying to look pensive and not really pulling it off. She mentions how hard it will be to have the nominees "verbally know" that she put them up, and I have no freaking idea what that means. It means she likes the word "verbally," I suppose. Key-placing, agonizing, yakkety blah phooey. She gathers them all at the dining room table. She says she had no choice but to be the first "bad guy," and acts like she rather regrets having had to do it (not that she didn't allow them to all kiss her ass all week). The slow and non-suspenseful nomination process takes forever, as usual, and we learn to no one's surprise that she has nominated Marcellas and Lori. Yawn. Josh wiggles like an overstimulated seal when he learns he's safe. When Marcellas realizes he's nominated, his jaw drops. "Marcellas, you are a marked man," he snarks at himself. Lisa claims that she picked Marcellas because she likes him, but nobody else does, and that she picked Lori because everybody else likes her, but Lisa doesn't. Get it? Lori cries a little in the diary room, claiming that this is the kind of thing that "just might kill ya, but makes you stronger if you handle it right." I suppose. I mean...it's not up there with malaria or anything, but I get the general idea.

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Big Brother

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