Julie spends most of Zach's Chenterview doing the following: implying that he never employed any strategy during the game (as Dick alleged), getting Zach to admit that Dick and Daniele aren't horrible people in real life (they are), and telling Zach it was stupid to nominate D&D together at Top 4 (Zach says not nominating Jameka was a play for jury votes, which sounds believable enough to me). Zach's good-bye videos include Daniele disgustingly saying that Zach said some hurtful things to her this week that she really hopes he'll apologize for, because then they can be friends! She really is the fairy princess of her own universe, is she not? Dick is like, "You're totally lame but I guess I don't hate you." Zach, who is at root an insecure turd of the sort who joins a frat in college because he thinks it'll cure him of his high school dweebery, accepts these like they're genuine compliments and is grinning like a moron and almost crying because he thinks they want to be his friend. This is a sad end for Zach, I will say. All the goodwill built up by laughing Dick down from his pedestal is almost completely gone.
As expected, the final America's Player task is for Eric to not only vote for who we want to win, but also to campaign for that person during jury deliberations. Seeing Eric campaign for Dick to win against Zach would have been gross and annoying, but now that it's between Skinny and Sack-Face, I totally don't care. Knock yourself out, Eyebrows. Literally.
Aaaaaaand that's all. Sunday's an un-recapped clip show, and Wing Chun's got the finale covered on Tuesday. I'm done. Here's the thing: this show hasn't produced a satisfying winner since Dr. Will in Season 2. Lisa and Jun were cop-out choices because Danielle Reyes and Allison Irwin were mean bitches. Drew and Maggie were what remained after all the interesting people eliminated each other. Mike Boogie was...utterly disgusting, granted, but you got the feeling he and Erika ended up Final 2 by accident when it was supposed to be Will and Janelle. But this season had settled upon the two most vile people this show's ever seen. By design. Slow clap for that one, CBS. Sloooooow clap.