Big Brother
Sorry Seems to Be The Hardest Lie

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A- | 58 USERS: A-
YOU GRADE IT
Race to the Bottom

GinaMarie is crying on a sofa, and ends up getting comforted by Aaryn – and Candice. So I guess we know who the bigger person there is. Watching this, Aaryn is moved enough by this to actually say, "Candice, I'm sorry." She goes on to make her excuses about being Southern and thus prone to saying things that aren't appropriate (which is bullshit, as I have met plenty of non-racist Southern people), but she didn't want to offend Candice on a racial level. In the DR, this heartfelt mea culpa is more clearly stated, "I am sincere in my apology to Candice to the point that she took my comment wrong." In other words, not sincere at all. So it's Candice's fault that Aaryn's racist now. But Aaryn goes on in the DR to say she can't have Candice using it against her and spreading things about her that aren't true, as though Candice is the only one. So Aaryn's sorry to the extent that her behavior has hurt herself. What an asshole, seriously. Candice accepts the apology and returns the sentiment to Aaryn's face, but in the DR she assures us that she's not buying it for a second, and will be ignoring Aaryn from now on. If only the rest of us could.

The backyard has been set up to look like a dairy farm, which the houseguests emerge into without preamble, broken into three teams for the Have-Have Not competition. HoH Helen and Jeremy with his Never-Not pass are sitting it out, but it's a pretty simple competition: three teams of four have to transfer spoiled milk from one of three huge vats by tossing bucketfuls from teammate to teammate, until that teams' jug at the far end of the yard is full. Last team to finish will be the Have-Nots. As the competition begins, each team has a member standing knee-deep up in the vat, throwing the contents of their buckets into a bucket held by a teammate on a platform below, who then has to throw it into a bucket held by a teammate standing on a rotating turntable, who then has to throw it into the bucket held by the final teammate standing behind a fence, who then pours it into a trough that leads to the team's jug. Obviously a lot of milk is being spilled in the process.

Teams must have been randomly selected, or nearly so, because Howard's on the blue team with Kaitlin, GinaMarie, and Aaryn. So he DRs that he's planning to throw it to screw them over, even if it means he's in there too. And thus he keeps just throwing milk in Aaryn's face instead of her bucket. Under those circumstances, losing the competition must be just gravy. The red team finishes first, so Jessie, Andy, Elisa, and Candice are Haves. Howard continues struggling manfully to throw the competition, but McCrae is sucking even worse as the yellow team's vat-man, to Howard's growing frustration. It looks like a tie, and even as Howard keeps fumbling his bucket and pretending to slip, his blue team comes in second. That means the yellow team – Judd, McCrae, Jeremy, and Amanda – are Have-Nots. Aaryn has the nerve to chant about karma striking Amanda for being a mean person. Which makes me wonder how much sour milk Aaryn swallowed, anyway.

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Big Brother

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