Big Brother
Sweet Chicken

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Sweet Chicken

Dick continues to berate Jen about how he just knows she was the other vote against Kail -- which, of course, she was not. He's proud of himself anyway, and he tells Amber and Daniele that he now knows that Nick "leaked" to Jen that Kail was not going. Why he cares about that, I am not sure.

We blue-and-white to Dustin's HoH win, and he shows his celebratory side as he tells us it's "flippin' fantastic." Amber bawls in the DR, OF COURSE, about how happy she was when Dustin won. She clarifies they were "happy tears," which you could tell if you knew about her fifty-six distinct ways of crying and what each of them means (I hear it took her friends years to know the difference between "happy tears" and "I just stubbed my toe" tears), and then she tells us how she and Dustin are the "strongest alliance in the house." For his part, Dustin tells us that Jen, Kail, Zach, and Nick are his targets. So it's basically Kail and her alliance, plus Jen, just because. Kail DRs that she knows Dustin might still not be happy with her, but Jen says she doesn't think Dustin will put her up, especially after she got rid of Joe The Gonorrhea Accuser for him and everything. Dustin and Amber celebrate some more, and they both agree that at home, "Joe is dying." Ha! I bet that's true. I predict Joe's TV already has holes in it from him throwing shoes. Dustin takes them all to his HoH room, which is still a prison cell, which I still don't get. ("Your prize is...confinement!") Everyone looks at Dustin's pictures of his "fam-fam," which...ew. My fam-fam would barf-barf if I ever referred to them that way. Kail says that his mom and dad apparently don't worry about "his choices in life." And by "his choices in life," she means...well, you know. Boys. She can tell this about Dustin's parents in the pictures, because they're standing right next to him without wearing hazmat gear or anything. Props to them for being so loving! Although Kail seems to be expressing mostly shock, like, "They don't even seem to be hiring deprogrammers, so...I guess people love their kids in all different ways."

Dustin cries and reads his letters from home. Apparently, Dustin's brother is glad that this show is here to show off Dustin's awesomeness. And then Dustin bawls and bawls -- like, a lot -- about how he misses his brother. It starts out touching, and then it gets really embarrassing. This show would be a lot better with 80 percent less Very Moved Crying and 80 percent more Infuriated And Vengeful Crying.

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Big Brother

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