Big Brother
The 13th Hour

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
Shut The Elf Up

Brendon: "Rachel. I am physically attracted to you. And I am going to get my PhD in Cancer."
Rachel: "Everybody hates us, Brendon! I might as well eat worms!"

Porsche: "This is gross. I'm out."

Brendon: "Stop screaming, Rachel. People can hear you. And nobody knows better than me that your awful personality is a great reason to get rid of you. Without me here to physically threaten women under the illusion that I'm being chivalrous, what future can you have?"
Rachel: "So you're basically saying I have to change my entire gross personality?"
Brendon: "I'm saying that I am physically attracted to you, and I am highly intelligent. And by that I mean that I am in love with you."
Rachel: "I am starting to feel the pressure of being in this house without you to bully everybody into protecting me from the obvious fruits of my constant petty attacks on people. Maybe you made a mistake keeping yourself on the block."
Brendon: "I don't want to hear that kind of talk! It almost makes my meaningless, Pyrrhic gesture seem like the action of an idiot."

Rachel: "You should have never asked me to marry you."
Brendon: "When you confront me with obvious truths it makes me panic! Shut your mouth!"
Rachel, making horrible cry faces: "No, it's true. I am dangerously unstable, mean-minded and vicious, and an embarrassment."
Brendon, pretending to cry in a way that's even more horrible: "I was already an embarrassment to myself, Bukie."

Rachel, like it's not 100% true: "Once I leave this house, all of America will continue to hate me. I'm never going to get a job. I'm not even that smart, it's just an illusion created by my circus tits and refusal to let anyone else speak. Marrying me will send you down into a black abyss from which there is no escape. I am mean and crazy."
Brendon, pathetic as ever: "Baby, that's crazy! What's crazy is how crazy I am! About you! Wordplay! 13-letter wordplay!"

Brendon grinds out some meaningless bizarre platitudes -- "You are my heart!" -- and attempts to crawl inside Rachel's clown bra with her, so that two broken gross people can become one whole, sane person. That's how they think it works.


Julie: "Adam, humiliate yourself on television."
Adam: "Done!"
Julie: "Thanks, Adam."
Adam: "You want more? I am capable of being so much more flesh-crawling than that."
Julie: "I do not, Adam."

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Big Brother




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