Big Brother
The 13th Hour

Episode Report Card
Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Shut The Elf Up

GOODBYES

Kalia: (Fairly classless, but then out of her entire persecution complex the only person who seemed actively gunning for her -- albeit in an unfocused, fire-into-the-crowd way -- was Brendon.)
Jordan: "Please don't hold my previous win, or Jeff's ten grand, against us at Jury. We'll use it to buy you a wedding gift for your doomed marriage! Finally, to prove that I am working this game in ways you can barely see, I will do a loving impression of your fiancée."

Daniele appears and it is so fucking scary how his smile slides down his face and his eyes go glassy and hateful and gross. It doesn't even matter what she says because his complete change in affect is so terrifying. He honestly thinks she is to blame for things that happen to him as a result of his actions.:

Rachel: "Falling in pretend love with you on TV has been one of the most fulfilling and respectful interactions I've ever had with men. I can't wait to get to know you on a fundamental level. Assuming that you have other ones."
Brendon: "I do not."

AFTERMATH

Julie: "Houseguests, assemble! The next evictee -- Daniele, are you listening? -- has a chance to get back into the game. That's all you get."

We get the rest of the story, which is that one of the four Evictees (Keith, Cassi, Dom and now Brendon) will be going up against the next Evictee to return to the house, according to America's Vote. And while I guess it's possible that people who think the fake sexless soap opera of Brendon & Rachel might be so profoundly disturbed by their American Tail-style separation that they'd toss him back into the house just to stop the screams, I think it's more likely that Dominic will get back in.

I mean, Dom or Cassi would equally make me happy, and I think Cassi has the greater probability of going full-on Fuck This when she comes back, but I doubt many people saw how smart she actually is. Plus, they're equally nice to look at, and the show has been pressing this agenda that Dominic was unfairly evicted because Daniele is a dumb bitch who's trying to get out from under the shadow of Dick -- when actually, it was Dominic that fucked the plan by telling everybody about it. As far as Cassi, I just mainly watch this show because I believe everybody, every single person, has a Hardcore Alison inside them, a doggedly mercenary superhero with laserlike focus and indefatigable strength, and I wait longingly each summer for this show to activate this, through adversity and persecution and clutch plays and now-or-nevers, even though in practice it rarely does.

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Big Brother

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