Big Brother
The Bus Just Keeps On Rolling

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Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Not Without My Sleep Mask

Later, more of Mike and Erika smooching. Boooo! I also do not approve of the Latin-flavored love music in the background. What did Cuba ever do to you, show? Mike whispers to her, "Are we continuing the charade?" Erika: "Which one?" Mike: "That we're not madly in love with each other?" Ewww. EW! Erika tells us that she really likes Mike, whom she refers to as "Mike Boogie," even in a romantic context, and she says they've hung out a bit outside the house. She does think people are getting wise to them, however, because of the way they're sleeping in the same bed. Oh, Erika. Take it from me: people are always onto you anyway. "We like each other, and there actually are genuine feelings between the two of us," she says. They also show Mike kissing the palm of her hand, which I am so in favor of that I cannot tell you, but then he's sucking on her fingers. Ick. I mean...okay, maybe I'd be in favor of that, too, but I don't want to see it, especially from him.

In the DR, Mike says, "Big Brother just brings out the romantic in me...or maybe it's the showmantic in me." That word needs to be taken out and shot. And then burned. And then: "Okay, who are we kidding? She's got a nice rack, her body is [inaudible -- something good], off the hook, oh my GOD." And then he gathers himself and adds, "But she's smart and nice, too." And then, for the first time on any reality show that I can remember, the show actually marks this desperate attempt to be funny with an actual, literal rim shot. No, seriously. With the real noise, with the drums going, "Ba-dum, chhhhh!" I want to marry a reality-show editor. Seriously. Call me!

Filler segment: Mike proposes to Erika, all jokey-like, the same way he proposed to Krista all serious-like. The only really funny part is where he says solemnly, "Erika, I came on this show looking for a lot of things. Fortune, competition...time with Chicken George." That's pretty fuckin' funny, at least when you compare it to the rest of his sense of humor. He's totally gross, but I will award the point. He immediately ruins it by implying in the DR that Erika will need to put out if she wants to stay in the house. I don't think he means it, exactly, but it's disgusting either way. "You're not going anywhere," he whispers to her.

Marcellas pays a visit to Janelle. He tells us that for a long time, he and Janelle were close friends, and then it "dissipated." He says, "I needed to find out where we stood." That's what you get when you base your friendships on reality television, which it turns out is not a good way to choose your friends. Who knew? (Oh, right: me.) They have a chat in which he asks her what she's trying to accomplish. He also tells her that he assumes they still have a deal to go to the final two together. She wants to know, if that's the case, why he's shit-talking her. He wants to know why she's shit-talking him. He also wants to know who says he's talking about her, and she mentions Will and Mike. He points out that Will and Mike are not the most reliable sources of all time.

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Big Brother

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