Big Brother
The Bus Just Keeps On Rolling

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
Not Without My Sleep Mask

Janelle whispers in Howie's ear: "Wolf in sheep's clothing." Howie then busts out one of my favorite lines of the season: "Yeah! If there's a wolf or clothing in the next one it's a done deal!" Oh...Howie. You know how Brian Wilson once sang, "I just wasn't made for these times?" Howie is the Brian Wilson of logic. Janelle, knowing it doesn't really seem like a very good guess, tells Howie that he should guess this one, and she'll guess after the next clue. In the DR, Janelle says that she thought maybe after the sewing, the next clue would be a sweater, and then there might be wolf. Ooookay. So she was thinking maybe the clue that had nothing to do with what she guessed would be followed by two clues that had something to do with what she guessed. It's one way to go, I suppose.

At Janelle's command, Howie goes and rings the bell. He goes inside the diary room and says, "Wolf in sheep's clothing." When he's done, Janelle calls him into the HoH room and wants to know if he told everyone what he guessed. He says that he did, and she gets all mad at him, until he explains that he only told the producers what he guessed, not the rest of the house. She tells him not to tell anybody what his guess was. And then as he's leaving, she urgently whispers her next great idea in his ear: he's to tell everyone that he answered "spool of lies."

Do you hear the crickets?

In another classic scene, Howie wanders outside, and the other houseguests are curious about his guess. "Spool of lies," he announces. Danielle looks at him like she just ate a bug. Mike chuckles Beavis-ly: "Heh-heh, spool of lies." Erika tells Howie that she thinks it's "pretty good." Danielle turns around to Howie. "That's not what you said, did you?" He insists that it is. Howie explains it like this: "Sheep, a rug, you lie on a rug, the spool." You can't write the parts of this show that are awesome. Danielle: "Is that what you said?" Howie: "Yeah." Danielle: "Seriously?" Howie: "Yeah!" Danielle: "Are you telling me the truth?" Howie insists he has no reason to lie, already having given his guess. And then it gets better when we cut to Danielle in the DR. They wait and give her a nice pause to look into the camera disbelievingly. "Howie, why you lie?" she asks. She starts to laugh. "You're a 'spool of lies' now! Stop lying!" Back outside, James asks Howie, "Have you heard 'spool of lies'? As a saying?" Will wanders over and is told that Howie guessed "spool of lies." "'Spool of lies'?" Will asks. "I've never heard of that expression." In the DR, Will says, "Oh, what a common phrase. You always hear people saying that. 'Oh, it's a spool of lies!' 'Oh, what's that? A spool of lies!' That's the dumbest fake answer I've ever heard." Outside, Danielle still doesn't believe Howie, and keeps asking him if he's lying. When he insists that he isn't lying, she presses a little: "And...what was the...sheep?" "The sheep, you can make, like, rugs. Lie down. Carpet. The sheep, for, like, the yarn. Of the sheep." Danielle is already walking away. You could watch the next ten big-budget studio comedies and see nothing funnier than that scene, which is really sad.

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Big Brother




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