Big Brother
The Bus Just Keeps On Rolling

Episode Report Card
Miss Alli: B | Grade It Now!
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Not Without My Sleep Mask

Next in is Scott, from Season 5. He acts so goofy running around the yard that Will thinks that they might invite him into Chill Town. Scott will be throwing rings around flamingos and trying to earn ten points. This takes Scott 1:58. Will says in the DR that he knew he wasn't going to go for this one -- he and James decided James would go. Erika and Danielle both say 1:57, and James goes with 1:40 to Will's 1:50, so James is competing. He finishes with about eight spare seconds. James decides to eliminate...Erika. Janelle makes a face. She says in the DR that she told him to get rid of Danielle, so she's starting to think that he has a deal with Danielle. Dear Janelle: The Clue Train left at 2:00, and it's like 4:30.

And now, much to Erika's delighted squeeing, here is Jack from BB4, returning to compete in this thing where you spin around in a chair and then you have to carry a full champagne glass on a tray and set it down. Jack fell on his face last time. Quite wisely, Jack gives himself about ten seconds after he stops spinning, and as a result, he's totally steady from there on, and he finishes in a total of 37 seconds. Danielle bids 27. James bids 20, and Will bids 30. So it's James, who says he was looking to throw it, but in a way that would be convincing to Janelle. I think he does decently well, but Janelle doesn't believe it. "He's just a bad actor," she DRs. Will agrees with her, and he thinks that James's performance was embarrassingly bad: "I was embarrassed for him, and I was embarrassed that he was in the Legion of Doom." Oh, Will. Don't show signs of alliance pride. There should be none of that, or I'm going to start thinking you don't know what a dork you are for being in a group that has the word "Chill" in its name.

So we are down to Will and Danielle. And who's back to ride the mechanical bull? Hardy. Hardy! Yum. Still looks pretty goddamn good after four years. Of course, he keeps his shirt on, which is both a disappointment and a suggestion that perhaps he doesn't look exactly the same. The bull throws him off after 59 seconds. Danielle bids a minute. Will bids three minutes. Janelle bitches in the DR that there was no way Will was going to beat Hardy, and no way he was going to go three minutes. As Janelle predicted, Will does not come close -- go figure. He lasts longer than Hardy, though -- about a minute and a half. Part of me thinks that's all Will really wanted. He bid three minutes to leave plenty of room to (1) throw the competition; and (2) whump Hardy. In the DR when it's all over, Will recommends to all you boys out there that you avoid any activities that involve smashing your balls on a steel machine for a minute and a half. "I have an ice pack on" -- he points to his crotch -- "and I will never be the same."

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Big Brother

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