Big Brother

Episode Report Card
M. Giant: A+ | 592 USERS: B
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Matching Meltdowns

In the second round, Natalie is eliminated, so Kevin had better keep getting holes in one for his team. Natalie wins a Hawaiian Vacation prize, and holds onto it rather than steal the HoH key from Lydia and get it taken away in a later round. In the third round, Russell just misses a hole in one and gets eliminated with seven points. He wins a phone call from home, which he swaps with Natalie for the Hawaiian vacation. Natalie is moved to Halle-Berry-at-the-Oscars tears, and thanks Russell for the best thing that could have happened to her. Russell rather coldly says it wasn't for her; he just wanted to give his parents a nice trip. Natalie manages to perform a symphony of "can you believe this douche?" even while crying uncontrollably. It's actually quite an impressive performance. Russell explains in the DR that he couldn't have his allies thinking he was secretly in cahoots with Natalie. He may have oversold it a bit.

Kevin gets eliminated in the next round and gets $5,000, which he says he'll keep. Dude's already won ten grand this season. Now it's down to Jordan and Jeff. After Jordan goes, Lydia, still pounding mimosas, shit-talks Jeff from the loser's table, saying she'd rather see Jordan win. They ignore her and confer quietly, and Jordan says she wants to hear from her family. Jeff steps up and deliberately fucks up the shot. Jeff gets a spa weekend, which he swaps for Russell's Hawaii trip. Russell not only isn't annoyed at losing his parents' trip, he gushes over Jeff's class move in the DR. Someone's got a man-crush. What's even more amazing is that Jordan has won the competition. The last prize, which she gets to open and trade for anything else, that's been previously won, is, unsurprisingly, the unitard, although it's apparently been converted to a superhero costume. She of course swaps it for Lydia's HoH key. Lydia really needs to stop with the mimosas, because she turns on Jordan and tells her, "Be a puppet. Dumb hos get cut at the end." Way to suck up to the new HoH, crazy lady. She drains a final mimosa and stomps off, yelling at everyone from across the yard. She's trying to act hardcore, but she's not really pulling it off in those pants.

Big Brother

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