Jason does say that, from time to time, he's forced to sit through girl talk that he doesn't really want to be there for. You know, when I was in high school, I was friends with a bunch of girls, and we had one guy who hung around with us, and whenever he staged this complaint -- which was basically TMI, before TMI was coined -- he did it by referring to himself as "Doctor Tampon." Which we always thought was very funny. Of course, we were seventeen, and it was the age of Who's The Boss?, so I'm not sure we were qualified to judge funny. Anyway, Jason is unhappy that there are no men around that he can "lift weights or spit" with. Heh. I especially enjoy the part where Jason tries to pull off a big studly move by carrying two big water bottles at the same time. And he drops them. Oops. He should stick to cute, because studly is not happening. ["I would just like to add here that we have a water cooler in our house and I have often carried two bottles at once, which I guess means that I'm more studly than Jason. Yeah, that's right." -- Wing Chun]

It also turns out that Jason is sort of the butler, as he puts it. At night, when the women are in bed, he goes and gets them snacks. Woo, snacks! Jason is so helpful. And hey, it's always good to have someone who will run back and forth to the kitchen for you, even if it's not midnight. (Whenever I'm visiting my parents and my dad does something like this, his line is always, "Oh, here, let me wait on you hand and foot." Hee.) Jason talks in the DR about how he's the luckiest guy in America to be enslaved by this array of lovelies, and -- HEY! After using the "Just a Gigolo" vamp for weeks, they finally have an appropriate use for it. Get it? Because Jason IS just a gigolo! And everywhere he goes, people know the part he's playing! And, as with all reality show contestants, there will come a day when youth will pass away (ziddly bop), and what will they say about him? When they end comes, he knows they'll say "just a gigolo," and life really will go on without him! It's like they knew in advance we'd get here eventually. Excellent job, Music Cue Person!

And now, another incredibly dramatic moment centered on the furniture, as the houseguests notice that their small table has become an even smaller table. Again. There is much, much too much discussion about this table, I am telling you. Jason calls the new table "sobering." And "creepy." It's a table, isn't it? As in, a flat surface and four legs? Maybe Jason is afraid it will continue shrinking until the universe turns inside out and he becomes antimatter.