Saturday. Previously on Big Brother 3: Jason nominated Amy and Marcellas, and then had to sit around and sweat the Golden Veto. Marcellas won it, but passed up the opportunity to abdicate the Throne of Nominovia in order to continue his reign as the Contessa d'Egomania. After Danielle turned on him like Cujo and Lisa made a doomed last attempt to save him, Marcellas was evicted at the hands of Jason, God's Avenging Tiebreaker of Destiny. Marcellas explained to Julie Chen that he was all about love. And self-sacrifice. And, did he mention the self-sacrifice? And the love? Elsewhere, snails tasted gross, haggis tasted even worse, and once she grabbed HoH, Danielle tasted victory just a couple of final betrayals away.
You've seen the decline of the veto before. You've seen the eviction of Marcellas before. But have you seen them in blue and white? Oh, look, here they are. Bye, Marcellas! Don't let the door hit you in your magnificent derriere on your way out! Hug your gnome! As a piano suspensefully tinkles in the background, Danielle slowly explains that Marcellas had three options. He could save himself, he could save Amy, or he could do neither. Or, of course, he could strip naked and run around in the back yard singing "Devil Went Down To Georgia," complete with air fiddle, but Danielle doesn't even think of that, because she lacks imagination. She says that she was sad (actually, she says, "a moment of sadness came upon me," like she's the star of her very own Bible story), because she realized what was about to happen. She was going for an air of solemnity at the veto meeting, and I do have to give her props for resisting the urge to stand up and yell, "Wahoo! So long, you germophobic, gnome-loving, flip-flop-wearing freak! See ya in the funny papers!" Because I think that's what she wanted to do. I don't really believe that a "moment of sadness came upon" Danielle. Quite possibly a "moment of gloating," but that's a little bit different.
Dramatic drum roll.
Amy calls Marcellas's decision not to save himself "very brave." It's remarkable, isn't it? How she remains loyal, even in the face of how horribly faithless he was to her? She would be so clearly entitled to say something like, "He assumed I was going to get booted. He was overconfident, and unfortunately, it was his downfall." I wish she had. Amy should consult with me whenever she needs an angry rant. Drop me an email, Miss Amy. There are some people who should feel your wrath, and I would be happy to be your ghostranter. She doesn't even begrudge Marcellas the fact that he was so sure she was going to be booted that he didn't pack his stuff. Nice of her, don't you think?