Big Brother
The End Of Amy, Part Deux

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Miss Alli: C | Grade It Now!
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Good Night, Sweet Princess

Danielle and Lisa wait for Jason and Amy to come home. They discuss the possibility of going to bed before they get home, and as Jason and Amy depart the boat, they express some concern that there might be furniture shoved in front of the doors when they get back. Upon their return, however, they get back into the house without difficulty. They tell the glorious stories of the day -- of the seals, of the dinner, and of Amy's uncooperative innards and their rebellious nature. Oh, those crazy innards! What will they think of next? Danielle and Lisa smile indulgently.

We interrupt this program for a Lizard Status Report. Danielle hates the lizards. Amy hates the lizards. Lisa has mixed feelings about the lizards. Jason feels a strange pity for them, because their two caretakers (Eric and Gerry) are both gone now, so he thinks he's obligated at least to try to care for them a little. Do you remember Amy in the first episode, going, "Ah luuhve rep-tahles"? She must have changed her mind. Thank you for watching this Lizard Status Report. If this had been an actual Lizard Status Emergency, a large lizard would have crashed through the wall of your house while you were reading it.

Time for America's Choice. This week, the question is which houseguest America wants to have an Internet chat with. When they learn what the question is, the houseguests all sit around and have a boring conversation about who will win. Then, before the actual winner is announced, they are all brought into the house, where printouts of their fan sites have been set out for them. As Jessica and Wing accurately pointed out last year at this time, they do not show them their TWoP threads, because those involved are afraid to smell what the posters are cooking. Or something. Man, I didn't even know Danielle had a fan site. Who would make a fan site for Danielle? Anyway, Danielle is especially impressed that at least one lesbian has expressed that she finds Danielle hot. Jason's site looks like it came from the wall of a bordello. It's like the internet equivalent of a black velvet Elvis. You know, speaking of how we were horribly overlooked, I have to say, the saddest thing about recapping reality shows is that we never get shout-outs. Never. No characters named after us getting into car accidents, no characters named after us dying humiliating deaths, no megalomaniacal writer/producers spending entire episodes spiting us, no interjections in our honor...pitiful.

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Big Brother

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