Big Brother
The Inaugural Boot

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Miss Alli: C+ | Grade It Now!
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When Gerry Met Salad...

More voting. Eric likes Lori and doesn't like Amy. Chiara feels the same way, but tries to be more diplomatic. Jason (of course) likes them both. Yawn. Eric and Chiara vote to boot Lori, while Jason votes to evict Amy.

And now it's time to catch up with some of last year's houseguests and see how they're doing. Nicole seems to be a little less of a nut than she was at this time last year. She and Jeff are still together, and she's a weekend radio personality. Her eyebrows look the same. (Presumably, she's using the same stamp and the same ink pad.) She says she keeps in touch with Hardy, who she reports is lonely and "needs a good girl." Yeah, okay. Except for the "girl" part. And hey, here's Hardy now! He is still in the dictionary under "pretty-boy." He's modeling (what a shockeroo), and has actually done two commercials with "Shannon Michelle" (that's Shannon "Sonicare" Dragoo, for those of you who haven't had a chance to change your scorecards). He recalls that he and Shannon had some run-ins (insert sinister black-and-white shot of electric toothbrush), but he says they respect each other now, even though they're not friends. Translation? When they were working on one of the commercials, he scrubbed the toilet with her mascara wand, and he feels much better now. Anyway, Hardy is single and ready to mingle, so get your applications in today! Autumn is in a band. (This is the extent of her singing that we hear: "C'mon...woo!") Her kid is still cute, and she's doing much better now that she's recovered from the eating disorder she developed after watching herself on television being told by Shannon to go eat a bag of chips. Good grief, do they really want me to think about this right now? About the damage this show is inflicting on the contestants at this moment, as I am watching it? It's like watching Die Hard 2 as your in-flight movie. Kent still talks to Bunky on the phone (aw!), and he's mostly not smoking, though it sounds a little tentative. He takes a moment to trash Mike and Krista over the non-proposal proposal. He has organized a cruise for fans of the show, on which he is going with Bunky, Autumn, and Sheryl. Man, it must be said...being a reality-show contestant is like being a major league pitcher. You've got to know when to let go, or you wind up like Steve Carlton, toting your spikes from locker room to locker room, sure that the next start will be the one when you get your groove back. This is especially true if you were Dick Ruthven instead of Steve Carlton to begin with.

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Big Brother

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